


Correlation and Causation

by PeppyBismilk



Series: Solution Selling [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Office, Angst and Fluff, Awkward Kissing, Drunken Kissing, Fluff, Gratuitous Karaoke Moment, HR Manager Seung-gil, Humor, Implied/Referenced Sex, Inappropriate Workplace Relationships, Jealousy, Karaoke, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mixed Signals, Pop Music References, Possibly Unrequited Love, Pre-Relationship, Scientist Phichit, Weirdly Specific AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-12 21:39:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17475452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppyBismilk/pseuds/PeppyBismilk
Summary: Seung-gil moved halfway across the country for a new job in an unfamiliar field because he wanted a challenge. The fact that his future coworker might have imagined him naked during the interview had nothing to do with it.Or, Seung-gil falls fast, gives away almost nothing, and misinterprets almost everything.Part ofThe Finer Points of Technical SalesAU, but can also stand alone.





	1. Poker Face

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has a Phichit POV companion piece called [Company Picnic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374847/chapters/40888721)! It takes place between chapters 8 and 9 of Correlation and Causation, but you can read the fics in either order.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung-gil has had exactly two* crushes in his life.

Seung-gil didn’t usually answer numbers he didn’t recognize, but he had a feeling about this one.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Lee. This is Minako Okukawa from Okukawa Industries. I saw your profile on LinkedIn and I was wondering if you were in the market for a career change.”

He’d been working as a data analyst for a healthcare company for six months now. It was fine. Data was data, and if he kept his head down, he might make six figures by the time he was 40. 

He had heard of Okukawa Industries. It was a small, young company, but one with an impressive reputation for solar energy innovation. Seung-gil liked a little risk.

“I’m listening.”

“What are your thoughts on the role of statistics in human resources?” Ms. Okukawa asked. 

Seung-gil was the first to admit that people weren’t his strong suit. People were finicky, emotional, and unpredictable. Delicate. Seung-gil wasn’t above those things—he had his moments. He just didn’t like dealing with other people’s moments.

But his job was boring. He was too comfortable and he wasn’t even a year in.

“It’s interesting,” said Seung-gil. “People are critical but dynamic capital, and thus present unique challenges to data collection and analysis.”

“Indeed. My company is looking at new ways to tackle that challenge and you have the exact skill set we’re looking for. I’d love to tell you more, perhaps fly you out to Detroit for an interview?”

Detroit could be all right. Coming back home to New Jersey had been a little demoralizing after graduation. His mom would probably forgive him for taking Bada with him. Eventually.

“All right.” 

“Excellent. I’ll have my assistant forward you the information.”

Only after he got an email from Leo de la Iglesia - Executive Assistant/Office Manager did he realize he hadn’t given Ms. Okukawa his email address. Or his phone number, for that matter.

Well, that stuff was all out there anyway. By the end of the day, he had a phone interview scheduled. 

Ms. Okukawa was looking for an HR manager. She wanted someone unorthodox and analytical who didn't have any bad habits to unlearn. Seung-gil was the ideal candidate. She didn’t seem like a touchy-feely boss, either. And they both liked watching figure skating.

The old HR manager had clashed with Ms. Okukawa, but Seung-gil didn't think that would be a problem for him.

By the end of the week he had a vacation day planned for the in-person interview. If Seung-gil had been a betting man, he would have put in his two weeks then and there, but he understood statistics too well for that. He always had a backup plan.

Seung-gil was upgraded to first-name basis, and he quickly realized Minako operated on an intensity level similar to his own. Her style was more outgoing but she respected his personal boundaries and kept to business. They had already gotten the interview minutiae out of the way over the phone so this was a meeting of ideas. She laid out her framework and Seung-gil gave her just enough detail to pique her interest without giving her anything to steal. He was certain he’d be offered a job before he left. 

“Leo’s going to show you around the office, but I’ll check back with you before you leave.” And with that, she was off to a conference call.

“It’s nice to meet you,” said Leo, extending a hand for Seung-gil to shake. His posture and manner of dress were awfully relaxed for an office, but it was impossible for Seung-gil not to feel stiff and out of place in a suit. 

“This is the main office for the business side. Accounting, finance, purchasing, marketing, and some support functions. Minako has an office up here.” Leo led him through the space, arranged in a cross between a modern open floor plan and classic cubicles. “There are several conference rooms, equipped with brand new digital conferencing equipment. OI is big on telecommuting where we can. I should mention that we offset 100% of our energy consumption with solar power. Over there is the shared kitchen, and there are the bathrooms.”

Either Leo gave this tour a lot or Seung-gil already had the job. 

“And if you don’t mind a walk, we can head back to the R&D campus.”

Seung-gil followed Leo past the shared kitchen and through a long, chilly corridor. Leo greeted employees as he passed. He seemed well-liked and the atmosphere seemed friendly in general. That was good. Seung-gil didn’t want to join a reality show. 

The R&D campus was larger and quieter than the business campus. “We have two main labs: one for mechanical property testing and one for analytical equipment.” Leo smiled and said, “One of the first assignments for our new HR manager will be to find a lab manager for the analytical lab. It’s grown so much that Min-so can’t handle both labs anymore.”

Most of the employees were scientists and engineers, working and talking quietly. Except for one.

“Fresh meat?” the loud one asked. 

Leo frowned in warning. “Phichit…”

Phichit had a tawny complexion and black hair, smoothed back under red-rimmed safety glasses worn almost like a headband. 

“I love seeing people on interviews and then again later, out of the suit.” Phichit looked at Seung-gil, squinting one curious, striking eye. Almost like a wink. “Wonder what you’ll look like.”

Leo cleared his throat. “This is Seung-gil Lee. He’s interviewing to be our new _HR manager_.”

Phichit covered up a gasp and scrambled for words. “I just mean people look different all dressed up. Compared to, like, polos and khakis. Since we’re a pretty casual office. Please don’t write me up.”

_Oh_ , Seung-gil realized. _It sounded like Phichit was imagining me naked._ Of course it was a misunderstanding, but for the first time in ages, he blushed. 

“Anyway, I’m Phichit Chulanont and I hope I’ll see you back here soon! In clothes. Normal clothes!" Phichit laughed it off and headed down the hall. 

Leo shook his head. “Don’t mind him. He really didn’t mean anything by that.”

He probably didn’t. _But_ , Seung-gil thought as Phichit walked away, lab coat ruffling behind him, _I wouldn’t mind if he did._

He had a lot to learn about HR. 

“Your office, I mean, if you get the job, would be here," said Leo, pointing to a corner office. "There are more employees in the labs and Minako has an office back here, too. And as you can see, it’s just a short walk from one building to the other.”

Seung-gil nodded. He’d only had a dingy cube at his old job, and they were inflexible about working from home. He didn’t get to develop or influence policies. No Phichit Chulanont. 

“Do you have any questions? You’ve been awfully quiet,” said Leo after showing him the labs.

“I like it here,” Seung-gil said. 

“That’s good!” Leo smiled and beckoned him to follow. “I’ll take you back to Minako.”

Two weeks later, Seung-gil had a new office at Okukawa Industries and he and Bada had a new house in Detroit.

Phichit Chulanont sought him out on his second day.

“Welcome to OI! I hope you like it here. Sorry about that weirdness at your interview.” Phichit’s hair hung in his eyes today and he brushed it to the side. 

“It’s fine.” Seung-gil didn't add that he would be open to more weirdness. 

Phichit smiled brightly. “So, uh, I know this is super forward but I know someone who just finished his Ph.D. His name is Yuuri Katsuki. He managed a bunch of grad students and I think he would be the perfect manager for the analytical lab. Minako said I could give you his CV.”

_Of course._ Seung-gil was just the HR manager and Phichit had ulterior motives. It was better that way. Less paperwork. Less mess.

He took the resume. “I'll look at it.” 

“Thank you!” Phichit exclaimed. He leaned over Seung-gil's desk, putting a hand down to support himself. “I’m really glad you got the job. And you—um, what’s the opposite of _clean up_? You slop down nice.”

Seung-gil didn't react.

“You’re right, I’ll keep working on it," Phichit backed out of the office and Seung-gil stared at the handprint he had left behind. 

Phichit was just trying to butter him up to get his friend a job. It wasn’t going to work, but the awkward way he went about it was awfully tempting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the other one was javier fernandez
> 
> chapter title obviously from poker face by lady gaga for obvious reasons


	2. Even When it Hurts Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Katsuki and Phichit are together. Maybe they're just friends. Whatever they are, Seung-gil's crush isn't going anywhere.

Seung-gil should have known something was up the minute he noticed Yuuri Katsuki’s address was the same as Phichit’s, but he naively assumed they were roommates and proceeded with the screening process. 

In his first week on the job, Seung-gil had discovered he had a knack for scanning resumes, and Yuuri Katsuki was ideal for the lab manager position. There was an internal candidate who wasn’t terrible and another external one who was, but Seung-gil was only interviewing them for due diligence. The job was going to Yuuri Katsuki.

Mere moments after he scheduled the interview, Phichit burst into his office.

“You called him! Thank you so much!”

Seung-gil frowned. “It wasn’t a favor.”

“Right.” Phichit winked at him. “Of course it wasn’t.”

Seung-gil had more candidates to call but he couldn’t do it until Phichit left. He should have closed his door. He turned back to his computer, hoping Phichit would get the idea.

Instead of leaving, Phichit sat down in his spare chair. “So can I sit in on the interview?”

Seung-gil didn’t look up. “No.”

“But if we hire him, he'll be my boss! Shouldn’t I have some input?”

“It’s a conflict of interest.” Seung-gil turned around, hoping Phichit’s face would offer some clue as to whether or not he was being serious.

It didn’t. Phichit was pouting at him. Seung-gil only let his eyes linger for a second—long enough to admire the way his lower lip caught the light. 

“You can sit in on the other interviews.” The words came out before Seung-gil could stop them. Was he seriously making concessions because Phichit was cute?!

Phichit stood up. “No, thanks.” He smiled at Seung-gil and said, “Yuuri’s going to get the job. I can see it in your eyes.”

Seung-gil had never worked harder to keep his face blank. Phichit was just trying to manipulate him and it was working. Seung-gil would have to build up an immunity to him. Exposure therapy was the only possible solution. 

Then again, the risks of that strategy were too high—even for Seung-gil. It was much safer to just let this silly crush run its course. 

In the meantime, silence seemed to be the one thing that made Phichit nervous. 

“Okay, so…” Phichit slid toward the door. “I’ll just leave you to it, then.”

Seung-gil didn’t cross paths with Phichit again until the day of the interview. Just before Seung-gil closed the conference room door to start the interview, he caught Phichit blowing Yuuri Katsuki a kiss. 

So that was how it was. They weren’t just college classmates or just roommates or just friends. They were together. 

But unlike Phichit, Seung-gil was a professional. He would never ask Katsuki the most difficult questions he could think of on purpose. He would never use overlong silences just to make Katsuki sweat.

Katsuki didn’t exactly nail the interview, but his nerves hadn’t stopped him from giving good answers (even to the mean questions). He had the job, but it wasn’t Seung-gil’s job to reassure him.

“We have other candidates,” Seung-gil said, standing up at the end of the interview. 

Celestino put his arm in front of Seung-gil and smiled. “But someone will definitely be in touch with you before the end of the week! Now, how about a tour?”

Seung-gil shook Katsuki’s hand and went back to his desk to look over the company’s existing policy on interoffice dating. 

When Katsuki came back to get his things after the tour, Phichit hugged him. Seung-gil frowned. He couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to date their supervisor, but Seung-gil hadn’t thought much about dating at all until very recently. 

At least Seung-gil had found out before the crush got out of hand. This was just further proof that the office was not the place for romance.

He should have just confronted Phichit about his relationship with Katsuki. Seung-gil never had trouble confronting anyone, but with Phichit, the words just wouldn’t come out.

It seemed like Phichit wasn’t going to say anything, either. They both had ample opportunity to discuss it—he was in Seung-gil’s office daily. 

“So, did you guys decide on the lab manager yet?”

Seung-gil shrugged. “Ask Celestino.”

“What, you can’t tell me? I thought we were friends.” Phichit pouted again and Seung-gil looked away. 

“We aren’t.”

Seung-gil caught Phichit's smile out of the corner of his eye. There wasn't even a hint of eyebrow wiggling or eyelash batting as he said, “We could be.”

“We aren’t.”

Seung-gil wasn't fooled. Apparently, Phichit wasn’t above flirting with another man to get his boyfriend a job. Even if Seung-gil played along (which he wasn’t going to do), Phichit would ignore him the moment the referral bonus cleared. 

And even if there was some sincerity in those big gray eyes of his, Seung-gil wasn’t going to let himself get friendly with a coworker. It was all too messy. He just hoped Phichit would do the right thing and disclose, because every time Seung-gil thought about asking him he felt the urge to vomit. 

By the end of the week, Celestino asked him to make the offer, and Seung-gil decided to let it go. If it never became a problem, then it didn’t matter. HR manager or not, what Phichit did with his boss on his own time was none of Seung-gil's business. 

Phichit was in his office minutes after Katsuki accepted the offer. “Thank you so much! You won’t regret hiring Yuuri!”

“Thank Celestino, not me,” Seung-gil muttered, terrified Phichit might try to hug him. The sooner he got over this crush, the better.

“He was so scared of you that he thought he wasn’t going to get it, but I knew he would.”

Katsuki was scared of him? Maybe he had been a little too mean during the interview. 

Phichit leaned over his desk again and Seung-gil stared at his hands on the glass top. “I don’t suppose you might consider being a little nicer to him? As a favor to me? Seeing as we're such good friends."

Was this a joke? Seung-gil had no words, so he resorted to the silent treatment. It worked. Phichit’s smile morphed into a slight cringe and he clamped his hands to his sides. Seung-gil took a tissue and wiped off Phichit's handprints.

“Okay, I crossed a line. I get it. I’m sorry. Just pretend I didn’t say that. This is just how you are, and that’s fine. Stay cool. Never change.” 

Was Phichit critiquing his personality or signing his high school yearbook? 

“But seriously. Thanks, Seung-gil.”

Seung-gil was definitely going to have to start keeping his door shut. And locked. 

On Katsuki’s first day, Seung-gil had to do his HR orientation. He tried to be more professional than he had been at the interview—not because of Phichit’s request but because Seung-gil was an adult—and because Katsuki’s stiff, awkward manner reminded him a little bit of himself. 

“Printing wastes paper. All of the policies are on this website,” said Seung-gil, pointing at the projected image of his laptop screen. “I’m not going to read to you.”

Katsuki just nodded. 

“I emailed you a checklist.” Seung-gil clicked through the critical forms one by one. “Direct deposit form. Insurance. Benefits. 401K.”

“Insurance like health insurance or life insurance?” Katsuki asked as he scrawled notes on his pad. Seung-gil didn’t remember his voice being so high during the interview.

“Both,” said Seung-gil. He clicked one link. “This is your medical insurance. You pick one of two plans. One Dental plan. Vision.” He clicked the other link and scrolled a bit to show all the options. “Additional life and injury insurance are optional.” When Katsuki looked confused, Seung-gil added, “Do you want us to pay out if you lose an eye or die on the job?”

Katsuki swallowed. 

Seung-gil went over the rest of the critical policies and company mission as simply as he could. Finally, he said, “Report ethical concerns to me. They will be kept confidential where legal. An outside party can be brought in if the employee prefers.”

Katsuki said nothing. Seung-gil got the feeling he had more integrity than Phichit. Maybe there was nothing unethical going on. It wouldn’t be the first time Seung-gil had misunderstood social interactions. 

“Is this the...are we done?” Katsuki asked.

“Unless you have questions.” 

Katsuki shook his head rapidly and hurried out of the conference room.

Later, he saw Phichit helping Katsuki set up his computer, massaging his shoulders as he talked him through the process. 

He couldn’t trust either of them. 

It was none of his business, except Katsuki couldn’t be evaluating Phichit’s work performance if they were also fucking, so he had to get involved.

Seung-gil requested a meeting with Celestino. He was friendly with his employees, even had them over for social meals, and he had mentioned meeting Katsuki at a barbecue before. Yuuko Nishigori and Leo seemed to know him, too. Why was Katsuki so popular? He was every bit as awkward as Seung-gil but he seemed to be friends with everyone in the company. 

“Do you have any ethical concerns about Phichit working for Yuuri Katsuki?”

Celestino looked taken aback. “Why would I?”

Seung-gil frowned. Did he just have to come out and say it? “We have policies about subordinates dating their supervisors for a reason.”

“What?” Celestino laughed so loudly Seung-gil was sure the entire office could hear even though his door was closed. “Oh no, they’re not dating. It’s not like that.”

_ Not like that_? What did that mean? Did that mean they were just roommates and friends? Or did it mean they had some other arrangement? Seung-gil’s freshman roommate had had a lot of _friends_ , and Seung-gil had spent half the year in the library avoiding them. 

This was ridiculous. Why would Celestino even know that? This whole ordeal was messing with Seung-gil's head.

“Good,” was all he managed to say. 

“Why? Are you interested in one of them?” Celestino asked with another booming laugh. 

Seung-gil did his best to distill _you’ve got to be kidding me_ into a dark look and Celestino fell silent. 

“Remind me never to joke with HR.”

“Gladly,” Seung-gil replied, walking off. 

At least he could trust Celestino, even if he couldn't trust himself. Seung-gil had probably jumped to conclusions because of his ridiculous crush. Phichit was clearly just an affectionate person, and Seung-gil wasn’t used to it. 

Katsuki was just his friend and Seung-gil was just his HR manager. There was nothing there, and the sooner Seung-gil accepted it, the sooner he could get back to work. 

Katsuki’s paperwork was almost done, but Seung-gil had forgotten to get a copy of his driver’s license and passport. He could just email him, but asking in person made him more accessible. Not that he cared. 

Seung-gil put his safety glasses on and went to the lab. Phichit was working at a lab bench and when Katsuki passed through the tight space behind him, his hand grazed Phichit's leg.

“Sorry,” Katsuki said. 

“Sorry I liked it,” Phichit replied, full-on grabbing Katsuki’s ass. Yuuko Nishigori laughed at them from across the lab. 

Seung-gil was done. 

“Katsuki,” he said, keeping his voice as flat as possible. “My office.”

Katsuki gulped. 

“This test is time-sensitive, Seung-gil,” said Phichit. “But you can have him when I’m done with him.” 

Katsuki shot a look at Phichit, cheeks blazing. “I’ll be right there!”

Seung-gil left without a word. Katsuki knocked on his door frame a bit later, breathing like he had been running. “What did you need? D-did I do something wrong?” 

Seung-gil let him stew. Not to make him nervous, just to finish what he was doing.

“Driver’s license. Passport.”

Katsuki wrung his hands. “Um, I’m sorry, I don’t understand…”

“I need them on file.” When Katsuki still looked dumbfounded, Seung-gil spoke even slower. “So you can travel.”

“Oh! Oh. Of course.” He fished around in his pocket and pulled out his wallet. “I’ll go scan my ID and send it to you right now. Is it okay if I bring my passport tomorrow? I can go home and get it now if that would be better but I rode with Phichit, so… Tomorrow. I’ll bring it tomorrow.”

Seung-gil turned back to his computer without a word. When Katsuki came back to make sure he had gotten it, Phichit was hovering behind him at the door. Seung-gil nodded, not making eye contact with either of them. 

Policy or not, a boss-subordinate relationship was its own punishment. They could crash and burn for all he cared. In fact, so long as it didn’t get interfere with work, Seung-gil didn’t care at all.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loooove song lyric chapter titles so they're back for this story
> 
> need ur love by charli xcx
> 
> my coworker used to say "sorry i liked it" every time i apologized for accidentally touching her butt in the lab. this is for her.


	3. Breathing in Your Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung-gil is his own worst enemy.

Katsuki and Phichit didn’t crash and burn. At a year in, there were no performance issues with either of them. According to Celestino, Phichit worked better under Katsuki’s supervision and Katsuki was a more confident manager when Phichit was around. They seemed perfectly suited to each other. 

As HR manager, Seung-gil was satisfied because morale was good. As a man with a stubborn, unrequited crush, he was glad he had a huge project to distract him from the very distracting Phichit.

Phichit wasn’t easy to ignore. He made a point of talking to Seung-gil every chance he got. 

On Monday mornings, it was, “How was your weekend? Wild and crazy?” At lunch, it was, “That smells good. Got a recipe?” On Fridays, it was, “Have a good weekend. We should hang out one of these days.”

Seung-gil never responded. He didn’t know if Phichit was messing with him or just being nice and he didn’t want to find out. But the longer it went on, the more his thoughts dwelled on Phichit.

Katsuki didn’t seem to care, and at this point, Seung-gil was pretty sure they weren’t exclusive. Katsuki was affectionate with Phichit in public, but they never went to company events together. Sometimes Phichit went alone, sometimes he brought other guys, but Katsuki never came at all. Seung-gil didn’t blame him—if he wasn't expected to be there, he wouldn’t have gone either. 

But no matter who Phichit did or didn't come with, he always found Seung-gil. At his first holiday party since joining the company, for example, Phichit cornered him after dinner. 

“Nice suit,” said Phichit, sitting down next to him. 

“I got it for a funeral,” Seung-gil replied, trying not to look at him. He had already noticed just how well Phichit filled out a suit. 

“You're a regular a ray of sunshine tonight,” said Phichit with a smirk. 

“Then leave.” Seung-gil checked the time on his phone. In a few minutes, they’d have the raffle and then he could go home. 

Phichit stuck out his lower lip, undeterred. “But we never get to just talk.”

Seung-gil looked away. Leo and Phichit were friends. Why couldn’t Phichit go to talk to him?

“I was hanging out with Leo and Guang Hong, but they wanted to dance.” He pointed out to the dance floor where Leo was dancing with a shorter man. Seung-gil had heard Leo mention a boyfriend but he had never met him before. Phichit pointed at Yuuko, who was dancing cheek to cheek with her husband. “I tried to get Yuuri to come but he volunteered to watch Yuuko’s kids.” 

Seung-gil didn’t need to know any of this.

Phichit leaned in. “Seemed like the perfect chance to get to know you better.”

Because Seung-gil was his last option?  _ How flattering. _ “Why?” 

Phichit cocked his head to the head, as if Seung-gil was missing something obvious. “Because you're interesting. Is it so hard to believe I want to be friends?”

Seung-gil frowned. Either Phichit wanted something, or he was so bored and lonely he was trying to get a rise out of Seung-gil for laughs. Seung-gil stood. “I have to oversee the drawing.” 

“Oh. Okay, good chat.” 

Because Seung-gil was just as pitiful as Phichit thought he was, he looked back and said, “Good luck.”

When Minako called Phichit’s name as the winner of a $100 gift certificate to the best Italian restaurant in town, he absolutely didn’t need to shake Seung-gil’s hand, but he did.

Maybe Phichit was drunk. Seung-gil had stuck to soda because he didn’t trust himself to get drunk around his coworkers. Seung-gil might not have dated anyone before but there had been a few alcohol-fueled groping sessions in college. Just a beer or two would be enough for him to be all over Phichit. He could already see it. 

He left as soon as the drawing was over.

That following Monday, things were back to normal. Phichit and Katsuki walked in together, laughing at something.

“Morning, Seung-gil!” Phichit called. “All recovered from Saturday?”

Katsuki wouldn’t even look up. Maybe he was jealous. That was such a far-fetched thought, Seung-gil could have laughed. Katsuki was afraid of him and Phichit knew Seung-gil would let him get away with anything.

And because he was pathetic, Seung-gil had just nodded at Phichit and headed to his office. 

But that had been months ago. 

If Phichit was playing him, he was playing the long game. He continued to baffle Seung-gil with his relentless campaign of almost-flirty friendliness, and Seung-gil spent far too much time fantasizing about ways to shut Phichit up. Those scenarios ranged from slamming the door in his face to slamming him up against the door and putting his face to better use, but none of them were appropriate for work.

Today, Seung-gil had spent a rare, peaceful morning crunching data for his committee. He didn’t even leave his office for lunch, and he foolishly thought he could hide there all day. 

At least when someone knocked on his door frame, he knew it wasn’t Phichit. Phichit never knocked.

“Hey,” said Leo. “Got a second?”

Seung-gil turned around. Leo was one of the more tolerable people in the office, especially of the ones around his age. Plus, Leo knew how to interpret his silences. 

“I wanted to talk to you about the opening in Purchasing.” 

Was Leo looking to change jobs? Seung-gil had always thought Leo’s skills were a bit wasted managing the office, but Purchasing seemed like an odd move for someone with a degree in Environmental and Sustainability Studies. Then again, Seung-gil didn’t work in his field of study, either. 

“My boyfriend is looking for a new job and he wants to apply. It’s a completely different department from me so I figured it wouldn’t be an issue, but I wanted to run it by you first.”

_ Great. More couples, _Seung-gil thought. Did Yuuko’s husband want a job, too?  

At least Leo was disclosing it. “Send me his resume,” Seung-gil said.

Leo smiled. “Thanks," he said before leaving. Why couldn’t everyone be like Leo? 

Guang Hong Ji had a decent resume. Same university as Leo. Different home address. Once he had the department manager's approval, Seung-gil called to set up an interview. Guang Hong's response was enthusiastic, to say the least.  _Just what we need—another chatterbox,_ thought Seung-gil. But he wouldn't have to work with him.

Of course, working in different departments never stopped Phichit from babbling at him. On cue, Phichit came into his office and leaned over the desk at the end of the day.

“Would it help his chances if I told you Guang Hong is a smart and competent person with excellent business sense?”

Something in Seung-gil snapped. “It won’t change his odds one way or the other, but if you try to suck up to me to get your  _ friends _ hired one more time I will take disciplinary action.”

Phichit blinked, and his face fell. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”

Seung-gil answered him with a cold glare, and Phichit stared back, eyes tinged with sadness. He was probably just sad that he had gotten caught. His free pass to say whatever he wanted had just expired. 

But the satisfaction of finally putting his foot down was short-lived, and as Seung-gil watched Phichit leave, guilt settled in his stomach like a bad lunch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from i wanna be yours (the arctic monkeys version) because weird and thirsty sexual metaphors seem to suit seung-gil
> 
> time to add some alt-j to the writing playlist


	4. Part of My Collapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung-gil skips a wedding and gets a wakeup call.

Guang Hong didn't bring any drama with him when he joined the company, but it didn’t matter because drama was just an unfortunate fact of Seung-gil’s life now.

The worst part was that it was all in his head. Phichit didn’t bother him anymore. He didn’t greet him anymore, either. Now he treated Seung-gil how an HR manager was supposed be treated—with complete neutrality. Either Seung-gil had been right or he had hurt Phichit’s feelings.

He almost missed Phichit leaning over his desk and pretending they were friends. Everyone at work was civil with Seung-gil but Phichit was the only person who had even bothered trying to get him to talk since college. Even if he had ulterior motives, something was better than nothing. 

And Seung-gil had driven Phichit away, all because he might or might not have been fucking his best friend/boss. 

Jealousy was not a good look on Seung-gil. He had been jealous over _things_ before, toys as a child, grades and opportunities in school, but never jealous over a person. Now, the feeling had taken up permanent residence in his chest, aching whenever he saw or heard or thought about Phichit. 

He was miserable. 

The new evaluation system project was entering the implementation phase, and the committee had agreed that it was best to test it at a non-member company. This meant less work for Seung-gil. It should have been a relief but just meant he had more time to ponder his circumstances.

The nice thing about putting in 12 hour days was that it hadn’t left him much time to feel sorry for himself. At least he got to spend more time with Bada now. 

“Put her back on the phone,” said his mother. “At least she smiles at me.” 

Agreeing to weekly video calls had been the only way to convince his mother to part with Bada, and it was a testament to the state of his life that it was the social highlight of his week. Seung-gil looked at it as a way to keep up his Korean, plus it kept his mother from visiting as often as she might have. 

“She’s bored. You can’t make a dog talk on the phone.”

“What’s your excuse?” his mother retorted. 

Seung-gil didn’t want to talk about his problems with anyone, but especially not his mother. He held his phone in front of Bada’s face as she slept. “My project is wrapping up.”

“Sounds like you’ve got time find a date for Seo-yeon’s wedding now.” It was a joke. She had long since given up on Seung-gil finding a boyfriend or becoming a scientist (because data science didn’t count) but she never missed a chance to remind him.

It didn’t matter, because Seung-gil had thrown his cousin’s Save the Date and wedding invitation in the trash. “I’m presenting at a conference that day.”

His mother clicked her tongue. “At least that’s something I can tell your aunt. Maybe I can go watch you.”

Seung-gil’s mother may have been more social than he was, but she wasn’t exactly outgoing. Or maybe she just didn’t want to have to explain his absence to her family.

“Sorry I’m such an embarrassment,” Seung-gil muttered, sarcasm thick enough to cut. He scratched Bada behind her ears to calm himself down and she snuggled against his leg.

“I want to hear your presentation.” After a moment, she added, “And if I have to hear about how Seo-yeon and her fiancée met in residency one more time I’m going to pull my hair out."

“You’ve told me that story at least three times.”

“But for you it’s aspirational. For me it’s just annoying.”

Seung-gil rolled his eyes. “I have to go.”

They said goodbye and Seung-gil tossed his phone to the far corner of the couch. Bada jumped at the noise and he stroked her back to calm her.

He didn’t want Seo-yeon’s life. Both the sight of blood and the thought of marriage made him want to pass out. But for the first time in his life he thought it might be nice to have someone in his life other than Bada. 

Too bad he had thrown away his only chance at friendship since graduation. 

Seung-gil was good at discarding friends. The handful of people he had associated with in college were spread out around the country and he didn't really bother keeping up with any of them. The Crispino twins weren’t even that far away—Ohio. But he honestly wouldn’t care if he never saw them again.

He had been in Detroit for almost two years now and had no friends. Just Friday nights with his dog, his mom, and Netflix.

It had never bothered him before.

The day of Seo-yeon’s wedding in Boston, Seung-gil and his mother were in New York for the conference. His father had agreed to cover for them.

The presentation had been fine, but dinner with his mother was not. Leave it to his mother to make him feel guilty for missing a wedding she never wanted to attend in the first place.

“Might have been my last chance to go to a wedding,” she said pointedly. 

“I have to go to the keynote speaker’s reception,” he announced. He had never intended to go but anything was better than prolonging dinner with his mother. 

His mother grabbed her purse and said, “Well, I probably started a new rift in the family tonight, but at least one of us gets to go to a reception." Then she kissed his cheek and added, “Your speech was interesting.”

Seung-gil couldn’t find the open bar fast enough. He downed a dry martini too quickly, leaving the olive behind. Tipping the bartender for the first drink got him a stronger second, but that wasn’t a good thing.

As the night wore on, fellow committee member Bart Thomas from Polyfilm introduced Seung-gil to Luis Ramirez from Zella-Astrico. Luis was terribly enthusiastic and only five years older than him and if Seung-gil squinted, he was almost passable. They were both tipsy, so they drank another one together and ended up feeling each other up in Luis’s hotel room. They were both too tired and drunk to let it go much further.

And that was how Seung-gil ended up sneaking out of the keynote speaker’s suite at three o’clock in the morning. 

They hadn’t done anything wrong, but shame still hit him the moment he shut the door.

It was a good thing he booked a room in the hotel instead of staying at his parents’ house. Of course, if he had just gone back to New Jersey with his mom, he wouldn’t have to endure the embarrassment of trying to get Phichit out of his system with a poor substitute. 

That was how sad his life had become. Seung-gil would have preferred spending an hour listening to his mother try her hardest not to compliment him—and that was if traffic was good. 

He made up his mind. When he got back to work, Seung-gil was going to try to be friends with Phichit again.

He just had to figure out how. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seung-gil is a lightweight and his mom is not nice :/
> 
> title from one of my favorite gorillaz songs, rockit  
> i was going to use el mañana but like what could be more seung-gil than a song where most of the lyrics are "blah blah blah blah"


	5. Kinda Counted on You Being a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung-gil spends way too much time on Phichit's Instagram.

Phichit liked social media. Seung-gil saw him using his phone at work all the time. Maybe he could start there.

Against his better judgement, Seung-gil opened Instagram. The top picture on his feed was Seo-yeon kissing her new wife in some tropical setting, probably on their honeymoon. _Five years ago I met Francesca in surgical residency at Mass General_ … 

Seung-gil’s eyes glazed over. He was happy for them but he couldn’t stomach their fairy tale right now. 

Sara seemed to have met a girl at OSU.  _Good,_ he thought. _ Maybe now she’ll leave me alone. _

When he reached updates from his favorite figure skaters, he pulled himself back to his task.

Phichit wasn’t hard to find. Searching for his name on Instagram brought up  **phichit+chu** and more than enough selfies to verify his identity.

How did Phichit have thousands of followers? Seung-gil didn’t even know a thousand people. His own account had 68 followers, roughly half of which were people he knew. The other half were spam accounts Seung-gil didn’t have the patience to delete. He only posted once in a while, usually when some old acquaintance complained that he never posted. 

Before he could overthink it, he tapped the Follow button. Phichit followed him back immediately. Maybe that was why he had so many followers—he was just indiscriminate about it. 

Notifications started flooding in. Phichit liked all 21 of his pictures and left comments like  _ omg your dog is so cute!!!  _ Every comment was littered with emoji and it was too much. 

Seung-gil closed the app and turned notifications off. He had never bothered before because notifications were so rare. Was it too late to unfollow Phichit?

_ Don’t be a dick, _ he thought. At least that meant that Phichit probably didn’t hate him. 

But Phichit didn’t start talking to him in person again, either. Seung-gil suspected Phichit was just automatic when it came to social media. He probably responded the same way when complete strangers added him. 

That didn’t stop Seung-gil from torturing himself with Phichit’s account. He scrolled with a surgical precision that would have made his cousin jealous, never liking a single picture or watching a story. He had learned that lesson the hard way when a stray tap on Sara’s story led to her calling him to “catch up.” 

After a month and a half, he had been through hundreds of images. Phichit’s “throwback Thursday” pictures were always amusing. He posted baby pictures sometimes, but the best ones were the pictures from his late teens. His hair had been longer and dyed an even darker black, save for a few random bleached chunks that had been a rainbow of colors. Seung-gil would have never left the house like that even if his parents allowed him to—but it worked on Phichit.

_lost my scene kid card because i liked blackout better than black parade_  
  
_#tbt #formerscenekid #noshame #myspaceanglepro #godneyforever #nofilter #hellamakeup_

Seung-gil didn’t know what any of the hashtags meant, but they went on and on. 

Phichit still wore eyeliner sometimes when he went out, and it looked far too good on him both then and now. 

One out of every five pictures was of food, and about half of those were of sweets. Seung-gil thought about leaving anonymous pastries on his desk but that felt too creepy (even though he was now a professional cyber stalker), so he filed the information away for later use.

The selfies and still life photos were fun, but the group pictures were hard. There were almost as many pictures of Katsuki as there were of Phichit, and a few of them were throwbacks, too. Unlike Phichit, Katsuki looked exactly the same in college as he did now. All that had changed was his glasses. 

Leo and Guang Hong showed up a lot, too, as did Yuuko and her family. Seung-gil didn’t really care to know more about them, but now he knew that Guang Hong hosted game night, he and Leo liked to run, and Yuuko loved to do karaoke. 

Most troubling of all was that lately, there were lots of pictures of some guy named Evan, and it looked kind of serious. Seung-gil sure as hell didn’t love it, and he wondered what Katsuki thought.

The only good thing to come out of the experience was that now he could sort out the difference between jealousy and his other unfamiliar emotions. The bitter, unpleasant feeling in his gut when he saw pictures of Phichit and Evan gazing at each other like something out of a soap opera? That was jealousy. 

But the dull ache in his chest that flared up every time Seung-gil and Phichit were forced to interact was  _ longing. _ The longing didn’t come from the same place as the jealousy. Phichit had talked to him almost every day for a year. Even Sara hadn’t tried that hard to befriend him.

Now Phichit only approached him when he had no choice. From the other side, cold civility was uncomfortable to say the least—especially when he knew Phichit could be so warm. If this was how Phichit had felt when Seung-gil shut him down, it was no wonder he hated him now. 

Except when Seung-gil felt the urge to post a picture of Bada on an exceptionally pretty autumn walk, Phichit was the first person to like it. Maybe he just liked her (and who wouldn’t?) but it had to mean something. 

If the goal was friendship, then Seung-gil would have to stomp out the jealousy, the longing, and the crush. Phichit had never liked him that way and he never would, but maybe they could really be friends. 

It was by complete coincidence that Seung-gil ended up at the same table as Phichit and Evan at the holiday party that year. Guang Hong, Leo, Yuuko, and Takeshi rounded out the table, and Seung-gil stuck out like a rotten grape. Everyone, himself included, was wishing it were Katsuki there instead.

He had allowed himself one drink to loosen up but it didn’t do much. He felt like he had picked a random episode from the third season of a sitcom that he had never seen. Their inside jokes didn’t make sense and he was just watching without participating. 

“I’m so excited about the new venue this year,” said Yuuko. “The chicken marsala at the Westin was getting kind of old.”

“It was probably the same chicken marsala,” said Leo with a smooth delivery utterly foreign to Seung-gil. “They just popped it in the freezer when you were done and pulled it out the next year. Like wedding cake.”

Seung-gil couldn’t help it. He laughed. 

Phichit looked at him like he had grown a second head. 

“All I needed to hear was _dessert buffet_ ,” said Guang Hong. “I’m going to save room for at least three trips.” 

“Ooh, same,” said Phichit. “What about you, Seung-gil? What are you looking forward to?”

Now everyone’s eyes were on him. Evan looked like he had forgotten Seung-gil was there at all, even though they had been introduced only minutes ago. But Seung-gil didn’t care because Phichit was smiling and it had been a very long time since that smile had been directed at him.

_ Friendship, _ Seung-gil thought. The only word he could get out was, “Steak.” 

He flinched when Takeshi clapped him on the back and said, “I’m with you!” but the conversation had shifted. Even though Seung-gil didn’t add much, he felt a little less like an viewer and more like a stoic acquaintance making a cameo appearance. 

Dinner and dessert turned into dancing for everyone else and Seung-gil found himself alone again. He checked in with Minako to make sure everything was in order for the drawing and got sucked into conversation with Celestino and his wife, Marisa, on the way back. 

Before long he was back at the table by himself, staring at the wall, wishing he could leave. He had done enough tonight.

Phichit sat down next to him and Seung-gil felt a rush of deja vu with a healthy dose of longing. A bit of jealousy crept in when he noticed that Phichit was carrying two drinks. 

“We’re hitting up Motor City after this. You wanna come?” he asked, still smiling. 

Seung-gil frowned. Was it really that easy to be friends with Phichit? 

But he was tired, and going to a second location would make it even more obvious that Seung-gil wasn’t one of them. He still wasn’t sure if he could handle Phichit one-on-one, and he definitely wasn’t ready to go out with two or three couples.

Instead of politely declining, Seung-gil condensed a probability lecture into six words. “Gambling is a waste of money.” 

Phichit laughed and Seung-gil’s chest got tight. “Well, yeah, but it’s kind of fun.” He tugged on Seung-gil’s sleeve and said, “Come on, you might like it.”

That ache was burning now, and Seung-gil pulled his arm away. “I have to let my dog out.”

Phichit’s hand flew back to his other drink, but other than that, he didn’t react to Seung-gil’s recoil. “Oh, right! I love your dog!” 

Seung-gil hoped the light was too dim for Phichit to see him blushing. 

“Well, if you change your mind, send me a DM or something and we’ll meet up.” With a smile, Phichit headed off to meet Evan. Their hands brushed when Phichit handed him his drink and Seung-gil envied how easy things were between them. 

After some surreptitious googling, he found out DM stood for  _ direct message. _ He didn’t even know Instagram had a messaging system. Why did it need one when there was texting? 

_ You don’t have Phichit’s number. _ Except he did—Phichit just hadn’t given it to him. It was the curse of his memory. 

“Earth to Seung-gil! Or do I need to find a new victim—I mean _volunteer_ —to help with the drawing?” 

_ Shit. _ Minako was calling him. He wasn’t embarrassed, just annoyed. “Wish you would,” he muttered as he walked up to the makeshift stage.

There was that laugh again, from just behind him. Seung-gil didn’t need to look to know it was Phichit. 

Phichit didn’t shake his hand when he won this time, but he did smile. Knowing the movie theater gift card he had won would be spent on his boyfriend(s?) didn’t feel good, but the longing didn’t hurt so much now that they were sort of speaking again. 

Seung-gil slipped out after the drawing without saying goodbye to anyone. 

Bada was warm at his feet as he scrolled through Instagram in bed. Phichit had already posted pictures from the party, and he was was actively posting from the casino. Along with pictures of bars and slot machines (which had such a poor return that Seung-gil momentarily questioned his crush), there was a group shot. 

Phichit had one arm around Evan and the other around Katsuki (who was apparently fine with going out as long as it wasn’t for work), and Guang Hong and Leo were huddled in front. They were all smiling, like an advertisement for the casino. 

Seung-gil had definitely made the right choice staying in, but it was nice to be invited. For the first time ever, he liked one of Phichit’s photos. 

Seconds later, he had his first DM. It was from Phichit. 

_ changed your mind about coming out???  
the night is young, my friend!!! _

Phichit was probably just drunk. They had been holding beers in the group shot. But seeing  _ my friend  _ made his chest feel as warm as his feet. 

The messenger was intuitive, and he sent a response.

_ No _

And because he felt so nice, he added another line.

_ See you Monday  _

When Phichit didn’t reply right away, Seung-gil plugged his phone in and went to sleep. He didn’t check it again until after breakfast and Bada’s walk, but seeing new messages from Phichit made the morning feel brand new. 

2:02 AM  
_see you monday!!!_ _which i guess is tomorrow now  
_ _so see you tmrw!!!_

4:56 AM  
_sorry about what happened before_  
_i wasn’t trying to suck up to you but i can see why you thought that_  
_just wanted to be your friend ( ^ω^ )_  
_let’s start over!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, seung-gil, it really IS that easy to be friends with phichit
> 
> sara and michele crispino 100% thought seung-gil was their friend and it is not mutual lol
> 
> phichit's scene phase might be my favorite thing about this au
> 
> chapter title from instant crush by daft punk feat. julian casablancas


	6. Let Down My Guard Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung-gil comes clean. Sort of.

Phichit and Seung-gil’s fresh start meant that Phichit didn’t hang over the edge of his desk and they never hung out at all, but they did say “hello” to each other. 

Seung-gil went weeks at a time without checking Instagram but as the weather warmed up, he started posting a little more. Phichit was always the first to like every picture.

It didn’t mean anything. That was just how Phichit was.

But it did mean something when Phichit stopped posting pictures of Evan. Seung-gil didn’t ask him about it, but Phichit was more subdued than normal at work. He spent his lunches talking quietly with Katsuki and Yuuko. 

Seung-gil gave them space. He didn't know the first thing about comforting someone in that situation. Months ago, he had wondered if he might feel relieved or even happy if Phichit and Evan broke up, but now that it had happened he just felt bad for Phichit. 

Katsuki could handle it. _They_ weren’t breaking up, after all. 

But Katsuki didn’t sign up for the company Tigers game and picnic. Seung-gil wished he could get out of it.

On the day of the game, he nodded at Phichit, who was zoning out next to Katsuki in the lunchroom. Yuuko was on the phone on the other side of him, and they all jumped when she shouted.

“Hand, Foot, and Mouth? All three of them? Oh, man... I’ll be home as soon as I can. Good luck.” She hung up and turned to Phichit. “I’m sorry, we won’t be able to make it to the game tonight. The girls are sick. I’ve got to finish up my samples and get home.”

“That sucks. I hope they feel better soon,” Phichit said, trying to hide his disappointment. 

Katsuki nodded. “I’ll finish making your samples. Let me know if I can bring you anything after work.”

“Thanks, Yuuri,” said Yuuko, rushing off.

“First, Guang Hong and Leo take off for a family wedding, and now Yuuko’s kids are sick. Gonna be lonely.” Phichit poked Katsuki in the ribs. “You know, you could take her ticket and come with me.”

Katsuki pursed his lips. “Sorry, Phichit, I just...I really can’t.”

Phichit patted his back. “It’s okay.” 

“I think Minami-kun is going,” Yuuri said.

Phichit frowned at that and Seung-gil didn’t blame him. Katsuki’s intern was a ball of energy, and Seung-gil had almost needed a personal day after getting through his orientation. 

Phichit looked up and Seung-gil realized he was just standing there, eavesdropping on their conversation.  _ Some HR manager I am,  _ he thought. But Phichit smiled like he didn’t mind. “I don’t need Minami because you’ll keep me company, won’t you, Seung-gil?”

Seung-gil blinked. Was he joking? 

Phichit pouted and Seung-gil felt it in his gut. “Don’t tell me you’re cancelling, too?”

“I have to go,” Seung-gil replied.

He left, and only after he got back to his office did he realize he had given a very ambiguous answer. 

Seung-gil was the first one from OI at Comerica Park. He even beat the members of the activity committee that actually cared about these events. The stadium did most of the setting up but someone had to kick them off.

Once other people started showing up, Seung-gil was not looking for Phichit. He would have understood if Phichit decided to stay home in the safety of Katsuki’s arms or bed or whatever.

And since Phichit probably wasn’t going to be there, there was no harm in having a beer. 

“Fancy meeting you here!” chirped Phichit at the beer kiosk. But even Seung-gil could tell his heart wasn’t in it. 

How was he supposed to comfort someone who had lost one boyfriend, but still had another, when he and Phichit weren’t even really friends in the first place? 

What would Seung-gil want if he were sad? Bada was at home so she couldn’t snuggle Phichit. Beer was pretty comforting, though. 

“I’ll buy you a beer,” Seung-gil said. 

Phichit tilted his head. “But they’re free.” His mouth formed an “o” before he cracked a smile. “Seung-gil, did you just make a joke?”

Seung-gil shrugged and ordered two beers. Free though they were, he tipped the person who was running the taps.

“I knew I'd have fun with you,” said Phichit. He held up his cup and gave it a little shake. It finally clicked that he was waiting for Seung-gil to toast him. He humored Phichit.

“ _Geonbae!_ ” Phichit said.

Instead of repeating it back, Seung-gil just stared at him. 

“I don’t speak any Korean,” Phichit explained after taking a sip. “I watched like, one k-drama.”

Seung-gil downed half of his beer at once. 

“Yuuri taught me some Japanese, but it was mostly just stuff about drinking and karaoke. Actually, those come in handy with Minako,” he said, laughing.

Seung-gil didn’t mention that he could speak enough Japanese to get around. He wasn’t fluent or anything, but he remembered some from the year his mother was assigned in Tokyo (even though he was only eight at the time).

They hadn’t moved far from the source of beer, and maybe it was just as awkward for Phichit because they were both ready for another.

“Let me get yours this time,” said Phichit with a wink. 

Seung-gil had to look away. He was trying to be a friend, not catch Phichit on the rebound. Phichit passed him a drink and asked, “Hungry?”

“Yeah.”

They made their way to the line and Phichit put on a smile for everyone who said “hi.” No one seemed to bat an eye at the sight of them together, almost like other people assumed they were friends. 

It felt pretty good. 

“So what else do you eat besides steak?” asked Phichit once they sat down. There was a glint in his eye. 

Phichit had a proper hamburger, macaroni, and more pickles than one person could possibly eat. Seung-gil’s own plate was devoid of vegetables and carbs. 

“Keto?” Phichit went on. 

Seung-gil had never heard that word before. “What?”

“Never mind.” They ate in silence for a while. “Are you a baseball fan?”

Like most of the OI employees there, Phichit was wearing a Tigers shirt. Seung-gil was just wearing what he had worn to work. 

“It’s okay.” 

“Yeah, it’s just all right,” said Phichit. He was nice to talk to because Seung-gil didn’t have to do much. Phichit kept the conversation going all by himself. “I like coming to the ballpark a couple times a year for the atmosphere, but I wouldn’t watch a game on TV or anything.”

About the only sport Seung-gil ever watched on TV was figure skating, but he didn’t volunteer that.

“Hockey on the other hand, I can get behind. You should see Yuuri, he really gets into it.”

Seung-gil took a long drink every time Katsuki came up. 

“Do you like hockey?” Phichit asked. 

“It’s okay.” Seung-gil had only been to one Red Wings game. A customer had cancelled at the last minute, so Minako Okukawa had invited Seung-gil, Min-so, and Celestino to her private suite. Minako and Celestino has gotten so drunk and rowdy that he and Min-so had practically carried them out. But the hour or so of the game he had actually watched was fine.

Beers empty and food gone, Seung-gil and Phichit found themselves side-by-side at the drink kiosk again. 

Seung-gil wanted to lean on Phichit. His shirt looked so soft and Seung-gil had seen enough gym selfies to know that his shoulder was probably pretty toned under there. 

_ Keep it together, _ he told himself. But as the beers caught up with him, thoughts like that one were easier to ignore. They were sitting in the stands now, knees not quite touching, away from the rest of the group. The late summer heat was already scaring off the few people who had made it to the game. If attendance was this low next year, they might have to cancel.

“Evan was supposed to come with me today,” said Phichit, pulling Seung-gil away from work thoughts. He would rather think about work than Phichit’s ex-boyfriend but he was supposed to be supportive. Or something.

“A lot of people cancelled,” said Seung-gil, gripping his knees to keep them from doing anything they shouldn’t. “Doesn’t matter since they already paid.” 

Phichit laughed. “You would focus on that.”

Did Phichit really know him well enough to know that?

“It’s been over for a while,” Phichit said with a heavy sigh. “I just didn’t want to admit it.”

Seung-gil had nothing to offer. He could have mentioned that he had noticed a decline in the the frequency of Evan posts starting in late May but that would make him sound creepy so he kept his mouth shut. He couldn’t stop his ears from going pink. Alcohol always made him flush, no matter how little (or in this case, how much) he drank. 

Phichit was staring at him now. “I bet no one’s ever broken up with you,” he said. “You’re way too cute.”

It had to be a joke, but Seung-gil’s entire face was hot now, and the words tumbled out before he could stop them. “Can’t get dumped if you’ve never been in a relationship.”

Phichit almost spit out his drink. “What? But you’re so cute!”

It couldn’t be a fluke. He had said it twice. Seung-gil downed the rest of his beer like a shot. “I have to pee,” he said.

“Me too!” Phichit stood and pulled Seung-gil up by the arm, then dropped it like it was on fire. “Sorry! I forgot you don’t like to be touched.”

It was more complicated than that, but Seung-gil appreciated the courtesy. He grabbed Phichit’s arm and said, “I don’t mind. When I’m expecting it.”

Phichit grinned and let Seung-gil pull him away from the seats. 

It took another drink to recover from the very awkward bathroom break. This beer was larger and had to be paid for, but by the time it was gone, Seung-gil couldn’t remember what had been so embarrassing. 

And now he was touching more than just Phichit’s arm. His shoulders were nicely defined, as was his back, and Phichit seemed quite content with an arm around Seung-gil’s waist. They had found a place to sit far away from the OI section, mostly free from prying eyes. Seung-gil wasn’t thinking anymore—he was just basking in the affection.  _ This must be how Bada feels every day. _

Phichit looked up at Seung-gil, gears turning behind his eyes. “So, if you’ve never dated, does that mean you’ve never kissed anyone? Like, have you ever...” He removed his hand from Seung-gil’s waist to make a gesture that was decidedly not safe for work.

Seung-gil should have kept his mouth closed, but it was at least two beers too late for that. He would never be drunk enough make that hand gesture, though. “Kissing isn’t necessary for sex.” 

Phichit’s mouth dropped open and when he returned his hand to Seung-gil's body, it landed on his hip. “Yes it is! Okay, technically, you’re right, but it makes it so much better. And it’s really good on its own!”

Never in a million years did Seung-gil imagine he would be having this conversation with Phichit. “I wouldn’t know. No one's ever wanted to kiss me.”

“I refuse to believe that. I bet lots of people wanted to kiss you and you just didn’t know it.” Phichit’s thumb landed in the groove of his hip bone and Seung-gil bit the inside of his own cheek to avoid making any unwanted sounds. Unaware of his internal struggle, Phichit went on, "I would definitely kiss you.”

Seung-gil’s eyes went wide. “You would?”

“Of course I would!” Phichit puckered his lips and it was all so ridiculous. Seung-gil couldn’t imagine anyone (let alone Phichit) wanting to kiss him, and he giggled. Phichit pouted. “Don’t laugh at me!”

Seung-wanted to bite that evil lower lip of his, but he settled for the inside of his cheek again. “You’re just saying that because you got dumped.”

Phichit shook his head rapidly. “No, I’m not! I mean, yes, I did get dumped, but that was weeks ago. I’d kiss you any day of the year!”

Phichit could say that because he was an affectionate person, and kissing wasn’t a big deal for him. He had probably been kissing Katsuki the whole time he’d been kissing Evan, and doing more. He’d probably go home and kiss Katsuki tonight. But it didn’t matter right now.

“I would never break up with you,” Seung-gil said.

Phichit let out a rumbling little groan that went straight to Seung-gil’s gut. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Seung-gil," he said, tightening his grip on Seung-gil's hip. “You don’t know it yet, but I’m actually very annoying.”

“You annoyed me from the moment I met you." But there was no edge to Seung-gil’s voice. Running a hand down Phichit’s arm, he added, “The way you used to sit on my desk pissed me off.”

“I never sat on your desk.”

“I guess that was just in my daydreams,” Seung-gil confessed. But Phichit was staring at his lips instead of listening.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked. 

_ God, yes. _ “Why?”

Phichit’s gaze flicked up to his eyes then back to his mouth. “Because you’re cute and I’m lonely?” 

How many times had Phichit said he was cute tonight? Seung-gil was almost starting to believe it.

“You’ve still got Yuuri,” Seung-gil said, biting his own lower lip. He had no idea why he kept trying to bring up Katsuki, or if Phichit's pupils had dilated because of Katsuki or because of the bite. He just wanted Phichit to kiss him and he didn’t care if he was a rebound or a stand-in or just a friend doing very friendly things.

Phichit shook his head. “I don’t wanna kiss Yuuri.”

More beautiful words were never spoken, and Seung-gil's gaze drifted down to Phichit’s mouth.

“I get it, though.” Phichit was whispering now. “You probably want your first kiss to be with someone more special than me.”

There was no one more special than Phichit. Seung-gil should have said it, but he had lost the ability to form words, and even though he had absolutely no idea what to do, he pressed his lips to Phichit’s. It was just a quick, inelegant peck, but Phichit’s lips parted in surprise when he pulled back.

Without another word, he leaned in and gave Seung-gil his second kiss. This one was longer, more open, and deeper. Seung-gil let him take the lead. 

If this was kissing, it was all right. He tried to copy Phichit but they couldn’t find a rhythm that worked.  _ Too many drinks, _ came a thought from the back of Seung-gil's head. But there was no way this was ever happening again so he just rolled with it. 

Too soon or too late, Phichit pulled back, hands framing Seung-gil’s shoulders. 

“I’m sorry,” said Seung-gil. It was probably the wrong thing to say after kissing someone.

“It’s okay,” was _definitely_ the wrong reply, but Phichit said it anyway. He cringed and added, “I didn’t mean that!”

But Seung-gil didn’t have to be an expert to know the kiss was bad. “I’m just not cut out for this.” 

“Stop it,” said Phichit. He squeezed his shoulders like he was about to launch into a pep talk. “You’re drunk. We’re both drunk. That doesn’t help. And like I said, it’ll be different with someone you care about.”

_ I care about you, _ Seung-gil thought. But all the beer in Comerica Park couldn’t make him say that out loud. He focused on a stray dog hair on Phichit’s shirt. Definitely one of Bada’s. Something to remember him by. 

“Damn, you’re cute,” said Phichit. “Have I said that already?”

_ Just a few times. _ But not cute enough. 

“Fuck,” said Phichit, stretching his neck like the alcohol had just hit him all over again. “I can’t drive. Wanna split an Uber? Where do you live?”

“Nowhere near you,” Seung-gil replied. If Phichit thought it was creepy that he knew that, he didn’t show it. 

“Yuuri will come get me.” Phichit scooted back and his hands were gone. He pulled out his phone to text Katsuki. “He’s still a little scared of you but he would totally give you a ride, even if it’s out of the way. He’s a good guy like that.”

_ Right.  _ Katsuki was a good guy and probably a good kisser. “I’ll just take a cab,” Seung-gil said, standing up. His head was swimming and he wasn’t ready to walk yet but he needed to get away from Phichit before he said anything else he would regret. 

“Okay. Be safe,” said Phichit, not looking up from his phone. Seung-gil started to walk away, slowly and carefully. He needed some water before he called that cab. “Hey, Seung-gil?” 

Seung-gil turned back and the sweet smile on Phichit’s face made him dizzier than the beer.

“Thanks for tonight. I had a lot of fun.”

Seung-gil didn’t know what to make of that. Did this mean they were officially friends? Was kissing just Phichit’s preferred method of bonding? 

“Me too,” he said. 

Seung-gil walked until he found a water fountain and drank until he thought the water might run out. He went back to the stands and watched the rest of the game. It went into extra innings and by the time it was done, he was barely buzzed, but he still didn’t want to drive. It was just him and Celestino’s family in the OI section at this point. Celestino’s son Paul was half asleep and Celestino looked drunker than Seung-gil.

As the stands emptied, a small hand dropped onto Seung-gil’s shoulder. It was Marisa Cialdini.

“You look like you could use a ride. Don’t you live near us?”

Seung-gil nodded. 

“Come on,” she said, smiling. She didn’t ask any more questions. It was a pleasant ride. Paul used his phone the whole time and Marisa and Celestino made idle conversation that Seung-gil didn’t have to participate in. They dropped him off with a simple “goodnight” and that was that.

Seung-gil couldn’t greet Bada with the energy she wanted but he let her out and refreshed her food and water. Then, he brushed his teeth, took off his pants, and fell into bed face-first. 

He and Phichit had kissed, and it was terrible. But maybe they were friends now? He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He just wanted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, how's it going, seung-gil? over that crush yet? 
> 
> title comes from warm blood by carly rae jepsen, queen of unrequited love
> 
> guang hong and leo are at guang hong's cousin yue's wedding because this au is out of control


	7. Just a Hand You Hold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings abound, and Seung-gil overcorrects.

Apparently, the kiss didn’t mean anything to Phichit. It wasn’t that Seung-gil wanted to talk about it—he didn’t—but nothing had really changed between them. 

On the bright side, Phichit was his usual cheerful self again, so maybe Seung-gil had helped. Even if all he had done was give Phichit the laugh of a lifetime with his horrific kissing skills, it was worth it to see him back to normal.

Meanwhile, Katsuki was even quieter than usual. As the leaves started to change colors, Seung-gil overheard the reason why.

“Come on, it’s your 30th birthday!” Phichit said. “We have to do something big. Let’s go to Vegas, or Japan, or something!”

Phichit had just gotten back from a Las Vegas bachelor party—not that he had told Seung-gil about it. Pictures on his Instagram had told part of the story and Seung-gil didn’t want to know the rest.

Katsuki wasn’t keen on the idea, either. “I really don’t want to make it a big deal,” he muttered. 

“We could just make it a little deal, then,” Yuuko said. “Hot pot and karaoke? Maybe a special game night with Guang Hong and Leo?”

“I’ll get Guang Hong to invite Keung,” said Phichit with a wink. “That’ll make it extra special.” Seung-gil had no idea who Keung was, but Katsuki recoiled in horror.

“Absolutely not. I am never smoking again after...” But Katsuki caught Seung-gil listening and clammed up. 

Seung-gil took his lunch and left. Katsuki’s birthday had nothing to do with him, and he really didn’t want to know what happened the last time Katsuki smoked. He was pretty sure they weren’t talking about cigarettes, but even from an HR standpoint, he didn’t care.

Fellow social misfits though they were, Seung-gil couldn’t bring himself to feel sorry for Katsuki. Getting older was just a fact of life, and at least he had Phichit to comfort him at night. 

The crush hadn’t gone away, even now that they were work friends. Seung-gil was still the same selfish person he was before, and he wanted more. After the kiss, he wasn’t sure friendship would ever be enough. If one bad kiss had him this far gone, he couldn’t imagine what a good kiss would do. Unfortunately, the only way to get better at kissing was to kiss people and Seung-gil didn’t want to kiss anyone else. 

Katsuki’s birthday came and went. Phichit limited himself to one picture on Instagram and it looked like a tame night. Just dinner and games. Sort of like how Seung-gil had spent his last birthday, only Katsuki had friends. 

Come December, something strange began to happen. First, Guang Hong flagged him down in the hall outside the bathroom. 

Seung-gil stopped, expecting some kind of policy question.

“Are you going to prom?” Guang Hong asked. 

Seung-gil didn’t even know what that meant. Prom was a high school dance, and Seung-gil hadn’t gone to his. He frowned but stayed silent. 

Guang Hong smiled sheepishly and said, “You know, the holiday party?”

“Oh.” Seung-gil blinked. He couldn’t imagine why Guang Hong would care. “Yes.”

“Cool! You should sit with us again,” he said. 

Seung-gil didn’t bother explaining that he had been seated at random the year before. He didn’t bother saying anything at all.

Then, Yuuko approached him at the refrigerator when he was retrieving his lunch. “Hey, if you don’t already have a table, you should sit with us at the holiday dance!” 

Seung-gil bit back the urge to ask why and went back to his office. 

He was just finishing when Phichit walked in and perched himself on the edge of his desk. Seung-gil knew what was coming. 

“Your friends are talking to me,” he said.

“I guess that means they like you,” Phichit replied. His voice was playful and Seung-gil tried not to think about why Phichit was sitting on his desk when he never had before. “Someone asked me if you were going to the dance so I figured I’d come ask you.”

Why would anyone ask Phichit what Seung-gil's plans were? And since when did anyone care?

“I have to go.”

“You don’t  _ have _ to do anything,” Phichit pointed out. “But I was hoping you’d say yes.”

He almost made it sound like he wanted to go together, but that was just too far-fetched. 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you there,” said Phichit, sliding off his desk. 

“It’s two weeks from Saturday,” Seung-gil muttered. “You’ll see me tomorrow.”

Phichit looked over his shoulder and winked. “Lucky me.”

Seung-gil hated how much he liked him.

Not much had changed at the holiday dance this year. Same suit, same place, same Seung-gil.

Same Phichit—alone this time, but still maybe more-than-friends with Katsuki and less-than-friends with Seung-gil—only now they were sitting next to each other.

Seung-gil stared at the olive in his martini glass, wondering how something that tasted so bad on its own could make vodka taste so good. 

“I don’t like olives, either,” said Phichit. “I figured you’d like them. You eat a lot of fermented stuff.”

There was no judgement, just fact, but the kimchi was more of a habit than a preference. And it was out of habit that he repeated his grandmother’s mantra to Phichit, only in English. “It’s good for you.”

Phichit laughed. “So that’s why you haven’t had a meat-induced heart attack yet.”

“I’m healthy,” said Seung-gil. 

Phichit sipped his cherry-laced drink and smiled. “So I’ve noticed.” 

The rest of the table watched the exchange like a game of ping-pong. Seung-gil didn’t see what all the fuss was about. Phichit was just making an observation.

Or maybe he was flirting. It was impossible to tell.

Seung-gil let himself have another drink with dinner. Not because he thought anything would happen, but because he was enjoying himself. Guang Hong and Leo weren’t bad company and Yuuko and her husband were fine when they weren’t being loud. 

After a third cocktail, he didn’t even hate it when Marisa Cialdini greeted him with a hug. But even though he was feeling the buzz, he was not about to join the dancing. 

Phichit was laughing his head off with his friends, dancing in a circle to some song Seung-gil had never heard. 

_ Oh, yeah. Drinking makes it harder to leave.  _ He had to stay for the drawing, as usual, but he would probably be feeling the alcohol even more strongly by then. He’d taken an Uber back to his car the morning after the Tigers game, so he could always take one home and back tomorrow.

The next song was slower and Seung-gil looked at his phone. 

“I bet you’re a good dancer,” said Phichit as he dropped into the chair next to him. “Do you wanna dance with me?”

_ Kind of. _ “Not drunk enough.”

Phichit learned in closer. “What are you drunk enough for?”

“Just you,” said Seung-gil. He reached up to smooth down a lock of Phichit’s hair, mussed from dancing. 

Phichit broke into a grin. “Good, because I’m always drunk enough for you.”

“You’re always drunk?” 

“No,” said Phichit, with a snort of laughter that made Seung-gil way too proud. “But you’re always delightful.”

“No one has ever called me that before.” 

Phichit’s eyebrows went up. “I don’t believe that for a second. Either you,” he stroked Seung-gil’s hand, “are a liar or you have a confidence problem.”

Seung-gil didn’t flinch from the touch. He stared at Phichit’s hand, still on his, then turned his palm up. “I’m actually very unpleasant. You just don’t know it yet.”

He couldn’t tell whether or not Phichit knew he was being paraphrased, but Phichit tilted his head toward the door. “Walk with me?” 

Seung-gil closed his fingers around Phichit’s hand and stood. He wasn’t sure which one of them let go as they walked toward the door together. 

The cool air hit them and Phichit said, “You probably don’t even know how cute you are.” 

Seung-gil didn’t consider himself  _ cute _ or _delightful_ , but he knew he was attractive. Confidence wasn’t his problem; it was ineptitude. Seung-gil usually didn’t bother with things he wasn’t good at. None of this came naturally to him, but he was going to keep trying as long as Phichit would allow it. 

“I’m surprised you came alone,” Phichit went on. “If someone doesn’t snatch you up soon, I will.”

Talk like that was dangerous. Talk like that was going to get his hopes up and his heart broken, and he should have just explained that no one would ever “snatch him up” because no one else could ever compare to Phichit. 

Instead, Seung-gil said, “You confuse me.”

“Really?” Phichit seemed genuinely shocked. “I’m a pretty simple guy. Ask me anything.”

_ Do you like me? Are you fucking your best friend? Do you mean _anything _you say? Why did you kiss me?_

None of those questions made it out of his head. The one that did was, “Did you mean to walk into somebody else’s party?”

They had wandered into a wedding reception, but none of the guests seemed to notice. Phichit grabbed some pink drinks from a serving tray as Seung-gil tried to pull him out of the ballroom. Maybe it was just an excuse to hug him from behind, but he succeeded in both of his missions.

Seung-gil released Phichit once they were back in the main hall. He accepted one of the stolen fluorescent drinks and downed it like a shot, shuddering not from the burn but from the flavor. The cocktail was far too sweet. Eyes wide, Phichit followed in two gulps. They stashed their glasses on an end table and Phichit grabbed his wrist and took off running, dragging him around the corner like the cops were chasing them. 

Phichit threw his head back and laughed. He smiled when he caught Seung-gil admiring his neck, and Seung-gil just hoped he wasn’t too drunk to remember that look.

“Was that a string quartet?” Phichit asked once he deemed they were a safe distance away. He wasn’t holding Seung-gil’s wrist anymore, but they were walking side by side.

“Yeah.”

“That’s classy as fuck,” said Phichit. “Think Minako would pop for that next year? She used to be a ballerina, right?”

It was true. A torn ACL had steered her away from ballet toward her other calling, but Minako's perfect posture served her well in the board room. Seung-gil thought back to the first conference they had attended together. He had networked his way onto the review committee, but once the main show was over, it was clear that Minako had only invited him to be her designated driver.

“I’ve only ever seen her dance to _Anaconda._ ” 

Phichit looked at him like he had just spoken Korean. “Hold on. First of all, you know _ Anaconda? _ And second,  _what_?” 

“I know songs.” Or at least Seung-gil knew that song. It still got stuck in his head sometimes when he couldn’t sleep. Mentioning it was a mistake.

“Uh-huh.” Phichit pointed at an overhead speaker. “What song is playing right now?”

Seung-gil had never heard it before in his life. “I don’t know.”

“It’s Taylor Swift, Seung-gil. Everyone knows Taylor Swift.”

The name sounded familiar, but Seung-gil just shrugged. Phichit laughed.

“You could tell me stories, couldn’t you?” Seung-gil didn’t know if it was a statement or a request. Phichit grabbed both of his hands, suddenly desperate. “Was Minako twerking? Please tell me she was twerking.”

“That’s confidential.” It was a bluff. Seung-gil had no idea what  _ twerking _ was—he just wanted Phichit to make puppy dog eyes at him again. 

“Well, I know what I’m making you sing if you ever come out for karaoke with us.”

_ Us,  _ not _ me. _ A “sometime” invitation with Phichit’s friends that would never materialize into anything. It was fine. He didn’t like karaoke anyway. 

“I can’t rap,” said Seung-gil.

Phichit chuckled. “Let me guess. You’re more of a classical music kind of guy?” 

Not even close. Lately it was angst-ridden alternative rock songs about unrequited feelings, but Phichit wanted stories, so he said, “I used to play the cello.”

“Is that where you got those thighs?” Phichit turned his head to the side and fell behind a couple steps to ogle his ass. But he talked about Katsuki’s legs sometimes, too.

“When you say stuff like that…” Seung-gil turned on his heel to face him, ears burning. “You say that stuff and I don’t know how to take it.”

Phichit closed the distance between them and that devilish smile faded to something more serious. “How do you want to take it?”

Seung-gil swallowed. That response didn’t help at all. “Was that supposed to be sexual?”

“No. But now that you point it out, I hear it,” said Phichit, grinning again. He touched Seung-gil’s hand. “What I meant was, sometimes I say things without thinking. But you don’t, do you?”

Seung-gil shook his head. 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Phichit continued, voice low and words careful. “So, I guess I’m more curious about how you interpret what I say. Does that make sense?”

“No.” Seung-gil let out a breathy laugh and clasped their palms together. “But I like when you push me out of my comfort zone.”

Phichit giggled and Seung-gil made the mistake of looking at his mouth. “You’re so cute. That one should be pretty obvious, right?”

Seung-gil tore his eyes back to Phichit’s. “Do you call all your friends cute?” he asked. Mentally, he added,  _ Do you kiss all of your friends? _

Phichit blinked, finally grasping the gravity of the question. “Are we friends, Seung-gil?” 

“You tell me.”

Phichit pressed his lips to Seung-gil’s, soft and quick. As usual, his “answers” were completely unhelpful but not at all unwelcome. 

“Is this okay?” Phichit whispered. “Sorry, I should have asked first.”

Seung-gil shook his head, so close that his nose brushed Phichit’s cheek. Phichit tried to pull back but froze when Seung-gil touched his waist and whispered, “Need more privacy.”

He felt Phichit’s smile, felt his lips move against his skin. “I know just the place.”

Things went downhill once they reached their destination. In the nights to follow, Seung-gil would try to block the next few minutes from his memory—not because he didn’t want the kiss to happen but because of the awkward, uncoordinated way it happened. 

He had no idea what to do with his hands without putting them somewhere they had no business being, so he kept them above Phichit’s elbows. The kiss was sloppy and wet and weird, and it tasted like that awful drink. When their teeth connected, he was ready to swear kissing off entirely.

“Hold on,” Phichit gasped, pushing him back. “Let me.” 

Seung-gil opened his eyes. They were in the back of an unmanned coat room.

“Let me?” Phichit repeated. It was a question this time.

Seung-gil was not a passive person. His disinterest could be mistaken for passiveness, but being this vulnerable was new. He had let Phichit take the lead when they had kissed at the Tigers game, but he had tried to follow. Maybe that was his mistake. 

One look into Phichit’s eyes sent him so far outside his comfort zone that he couldn’t even see it anymore. He couldn’t see anything but Phichit. Seung-gil trusted him, and he let go. 

“Okay.”

He closed his eyes and felt Phichit move closer, felt the heat radiating from his lips as they hovered mere millimeters above his own. 

Even the long, longing moments before they connected felt different—charged. Phichit moved slowly, applying whisper-light pressure at first, then angling his mouth to push harder. Seung-gil didn’t move. It was too good and he was definitely going to fuck it up if he didn’t sit still and let it unfold. Phichit trailed a hand up his back to his neck, fingertips breaching Seung-gil’s hairline as he nudged him into the position he wanted. 

Like clay, Seung-gil let himself be posed and molded. His lips were barely parted and Phichit shifted down just a fraction to focus on just the lower one. Seung-gil couldn’t believe such a small change made such a big difference but the kiss hit him deep in his chest and he understood. Kissing was amazing.

Phichit returned to both lips in shorter, firmer bursts that felt like they could build up to something more and Seung-gil wanted it to happen. He didn’t know how to ask for it, didn’t know what Phichit wanted out of this, but when the kisses got slower and softer, he knew it was almost over.

_ Fuck. _ His crush wasn’t just a crush anymore. Seung-gil had never been in love before, but it wasn’t mysterious or foreign like kissing. He just felt it. 

And Phichit didn’t. Seung-gil knew it as soon as Phichit pulled away. He put off opening his eyes for as long as he could, and when he finally did, Phichit wouldn’t even look at him. Seung-gil was alive and wanting, and Phichit was more interested in the rack of coats next to them. 

“I’m sorry,” Phichit said.

_ Why?  _ There was nothing to be sorry for, unless this sudden guilt had to do with Katsuki. How could Phichit kiss him like that and want anyone else? Maybe it was Seung-gil who had done something wrong. He hadn’t really done anything, but all he could get out was, “It’s okay.”

Phichit chuckled and took another step back. "I guess I got a little carried away," he said, straightening his hair. 

“It’s okay,” Seung-gil repeated, even though it wasn’t. Phichit was sad and drunk and regretting cheating on Katsuki or something. The fruity drink hit Seung-gil like a hammer and he was so drunk and— _holy shit_ —in love with Phichit, except Phichit has chosen that moment to swear off polyamory or whatever it was he called his lifestyle.

Maybe it was better this way. Seung-gil had never believed in polyamory or monogamy or relationships at all, but he had always been selfish, and he wanted Phichit all to himself.

He might have gotten sad, too, if it weren’t for that damn song in his head. It was hilarious, really, the sting of rejection hitting him like those ridiculous whip noises. Funny enough to laugh out loud.

Phichit laughed, too, tension melting from his shoulders. Was he blushing? “Why is it you only laugh at me when we’re drunk?”

“I’m not laughing at you,” Seung-gil managed to say. Phichit was so cute when he blushed. 

“Then what’s so funny?”

“Come here and I’ll tell you,” said Seung-gil between giggles. He beckoned him with a finger. “Come here.”

Phichit had a strange, curious look in his eyes as he approached. Impatient, Seung-gil pulled him by the lapel, bypassing his mouth to whisper in his ear. He could barely get the words out. “ _My anaconda don’t_ —”

Phichit’s laugh burst out like a canon, right in his ear. It hurt but Seung-gil was too tickled to care. 

“Oh my god," Phichit groaned.

“ _My ana—_ ” He couldn’t even finish the next line and they were both doubled over laughing.

“You’re a fucking meme lord!” Phichit gasped out, jabbing him in the ribs. “I’m going to tell everyone!”

“They won’t believe you.”

That fire in Phichit's eyes was a challenge. “Try me.”

If Seung-gil knew how, he would have kissed the smirk off his face, but instead, he asked, “What is twerking?”

“What, you want a demonstration?” Phichit’s voice came out higher than normal. 

“Is it a dance?” 

Phichit snorted and crouched down. “Only because you're so adorable. It's something like...” 

_ Shit. Shit, shit, shit.  _ It was a dance, but Seung-gil couldn’t watch him do it for more than a few seconds. He squeezed his eyes shut. Picturing Minako was the only way he could keep himself under control. “That’s exactly what Minako did."

Phichit couldn't keep it up much longer and he brushed himself off. “Okay, okay. You drive a hard bargain, but I’ll keep your dirty little secret.” 

Somehow, they made it out of the coat room, but walking back to the OI party was a slow process. One of them would have a giggling fit, triggering the other, and they’d have to stop to catch their breath. 

Outside the door, Phichit turned to Seung-gil and smiled. “I am so glad we’re friends.”

_ Friends. _ Like a fatal blow, the word sucked the wind out of him and nothing was funny anymore. 

For the first time ever, Seung-gil missed the drawing. He turned away from Phichit and left the hotel, standing outside in the cold for ten minutes before he summoned an Uber to take him home. 

Seung-gil didn’t cry, but he slept with Bada in his arms that night. His hangover the next morning was intense, and he never got hangovers.

When he finally made it back to the hotel for his car, he checked at the front desk to see if his coat was in the lost and found. He hadn’t bothered grabbing it the night before. 

“Sorry, no coat matching that description,” said the attendant. “But if you leave your number, we’ll call you if it turns up.”

Seung-gil did, and there was no call. He didn’t leave his house for the rest of the weekend except for quick walks with Bada. It wasn’t abnormal for him to stay in, but it felt different. Everything felt different now. He was in love with Phichit and Phichit wanted to be friends. Years ago, that might have been good enough, but now it felt like a death sentence. 

He almost called in sick on Monday. The only time he had ever called off was for the flu, and only because his fever had been so high that he had hallucinated. 

It was bitterly cold that morning and he had to wear his old coat, the one that felt like wearing a cactus with all that down poking out of the lining. All of it, the weather and the pain, felt appropriate. He didn’t speak to anyone on the way in, didn’t even look up. Seung-gil was being dramatic and he knew it, but he was entitled to his moments. 

No one noticed the difference, anyway. 

In his office, someone had draped his good coat (the one he had left at the hotel) over the back of his chair. Seung-gil didn’t want to know who. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at least both seung-gil and phichit got it wrong this time. 
> 
> could not decide between casanova by allie x feat verite and not the one by mikky ekko, but not the one felt more seung-gil, so it won. highly recommend both songs though!


	8. One More Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung-gil is both more dramatic and less selfish than he realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bunch of this dialogue is straight out of the conflict of interest arc in [adventures in long distance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15464706/chapters/35953230)

The weirdest part was that Phichit and his friends still didn’t treat Seung-gil any differently. All of them (except Katsuki) waved at him now in passing. Phichit still smiled at him and tried to engage him in conversation, undeterred when he didn’t respond. Maybe Phichit had forgotten about the kiss, or maybe he was pretending it never happened. Maybe that night just didn’t mean anything to him at all.

Seung-gil turned to Google, searching “how to get over someone” in a private browser window at his house.  

He didn’t like any of the advice (and he really could have lived his entire life without knowing the word _fuckbuddy_ ), but he installed Tinder on his phone anyway. 

Phichit was right—once he put himself out there, it didn’t take long to get a bite. He swiped right on the first guy who was even vaguely attractive (fully aware that he was also the first guy who reminded him of Phichit) and matched right away. 

He and Marco hooked up a few times, never at Seung-gil’s house. It was fine. It helped to picture Phichit and remember that second kiss in the coat room, and eventually, Seung-gil figured out how to reciprocate. It was a decent enough distraction until Marco asked to be exclusive. Seung-gil wasn’t seeing anyone else but he refused. 

After Marco came Amir, and by then, Seung-gil had kissing before and during sex down to a science. Treating it like an experiment helped. It wasn’t unpleasant, but nothing made him feel even close to the way he had felt when Phichit had kissed him. 

Seung-gil didn’t really understand kissing anyone else just for the sake of kissing, but he could fake his way through that. What he couldn’t handle was kissing or (any physical contact, really) after sex. He never stayed the night or had Amir over, either. It was all too intimate—he thought he might be able to stomach it with Phichit, maybe, but that didn’t matter. 

Amir didn’t seem bothered by it, so Seung-gil figured his heart was elsewhere, too. That suited him just fine.  

They were at Amir’s apartment, two glasses of wine in and working on _before_ , when Amir tore himself away. 

“I’m sorry, Seung-gil. I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to you.”

Seung-gil sat up. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

“I really like you, but the truth is, I’m in love with someone else.” Amir squeezed his eyes shut and hung his head like it hurt to admit. 

“So am I,” said Seung-gil.

“Her name is Aaliyah and—” Amir’s head shot up. “Wait, what?”

“I’m in love with someone else, too,” Seung-gil said plainly. “I don’t have feelings for you, either.”

Amir recoiled like he had been slapped. “What? But I said…” He shook his head in disbelief. “We’ve been sleeping together for weeks and you seriously feel nothing?”

Seung-gil shrugged. “You're nice.”

“I’m _nice_?!” Amir sat back on his couch and ran a hand over his mouth and chin. “Have you just been using me this whole time?”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing with me?” Seung-gil wasn’t going to deny it, and he failed to see a distinction. “I thought we both knew what this was.”

“Wow,” said Amir, eyes wide. “I knew you had issues, but that’s messed up.”

It seemed hypocritical to Seung-gil but he didn’t even care enough to point it out. Maybe Amir was right. Either way, it saved him the trouble of finding a way to end things himself. But he did have to take a long walk around Amir’s neighborhood to sober up before the drive home. At least it gave him time to think.

Trying to fool himself into enjoying sex wasn’t going to work. Even after three months and two half-assed attempts at dating, his feelings for Phichit hadn’t changed at all. If anything, they’d gotten stronger. Maybe it was because they saw each other five days a week.

Sometimes he looked at job postings, but he never applied. He actually liked his job most of the time, and not wanting to see Phichit was a bad reason to leave a good job. 

Seung-gil pulled out his phone. He deleted Tinder, purged the Facebook account he had made for it, and uninstalled Instagram. He was done trying to replace Phichit and he was done with other people’s feelings. This was just how things were going to be from now on. His mother had accepted that he would die alone, so it was time he did, too. 

The mood seemed to be contagious. Maybe it was the dreary Detroit weather, but Katsuki was more withdrawn and skittish than ever at work. Phichit and Yuuko were working figurative overtime tried to cheer him up, and Seung-gil tried to ignore them.

He wouldn't have noticed or cared at all, except he and Katsuki kept running into each other in the parking lot after working literal overtime. Apparently, neither one of them wanted to go home. 

Seung-gil wouldn’t even let himself imagine what that meant.

Summer came and Seung-gil’s fog didn’t lift, but not dating other guys made things a little easier. He didn’t go out of his way to avoid Phichit anymore, and even gave him more than one word answers every now and then. Seeing him smile still made his chest tight, but he could breathe. Maybe it would keep getting easier. 

Katsuki, on the other hand, had flipped like a switch. He still acted like Seung-gil might steal his lunch money at any moment, but he stopped working late and coming in early. He was smiling and laughing with his coworkers, and he spent every idle moment on his phone.

Seung-gil didn’t even want to know, but Katsuki sent him an email that left him no choice.

_ Hello Seung-gil, _

_ I need to discuss something with you. Can we meet tomorrow? _

_ Thanks,  
_ _ Yuuri Katsuki _

If Katsuki was voluntarily coming to him, it must have been something 1) important and 2) related to work. Maybe he had gotten a job offer at that tech expo he had just attended with Yuuko and Phichit.

When Katsuki didn’t find him the next morning, Seung-gil went to him, tablet PC in hand. He wasn’t curious—it was just his duty as HR manager.

Katsuki didn’t look up when Seung-gil approached, so he announced himself. “Katsuki.”

Katsuki’s back went stiff and he hunched his shoulders as he turned around. “Can I help you?”   


Had he forgotten that he had asked for this meeting? Maybe it was Seung-gil’s approach. He relaxed his face and tried to be more cordial. 

“Got your email. You wanted to discuss something?"

Katsuki cleared his throat. “Right. Yes.” He gestured to an open chair and Seung-gil sat down and waited. 

Had he ever been in Katsuki’s office before? There was a family picture on the desk, and judging by Katsuki’s baby face, it must have been years old. He had a sibling, and a cute toy poodle.  _ Oh, _ Seung-gil realized,  _ that dog is probably dead. _

There was a picture of Katsuki and Phichit, too, with Phichit in his master’s degree regalia at graduation. Seung-gil recognized it from Instagram. What would Phichit do if Katsuki got another job? Whatever they were, they were best friends, too. Seung-gil hadn’t forgotten how hard Phichit had taken his last break up (at least the last one he knew about—it had been a while). He didn’t want to see Phichit lose his best friend. 

Then again, job opportunities weren’t personal, and Phichit would probably support Katsuki no matter what. 

His stomach didn’t know what to do with the swirl of emotions, but he kept his face still. 

Katsuki cleared his throat. “I am in a relationship that could present a conflict of interest.”

That confession landed in Seung-gil’s gut like a brick. Not a job, then. Maybe he and Phichit were finally making it official. That would explain why Katsuki was so happy. If Phichit was happy, too, then good. Great. Seung-gil wouldn’t hold it against either of them. 

“I see.” Seung-gil flipped open his tablet to pretend to document the meeting, even though everything Katsuki said was seared into his brain like grill marks on a steak. “What’s the nature of this relationship?”   
  
“Um…” 

_ Spit it out, Katsuki.  _ It would make things easier. Seung-gil just wanted to end this three-year limbo and close off his unreliable heart forever. 

For someone who claimed to hate drama, Seung-gil was being awfully dramatic. He tried to fill in the blanks to speed the process. “Familial? Friendly? Sexual?” 

“Yes.” Katsuki coughed. “The last one.” 

Of course. Seung-gil already knew that. Katsuki blushed like he was surprised by his own news. 

_ Goodbye, Phichit.  _ “Does this conflict of interest involve a subordinate?”   
  
“No. It’s not a coworker.” 

_ What? _ Seung-gil's mouth dropped open but he closed it immediately. This _wasn’t_ about Phichit? The next question left his mouth without warning. “A competitor?” 

“It’s a supplier.” Yuuri took a deep breath. “I am in a romantic relationship with a supplier.”

_ A supplier?! _ Seung-gil couldn’t handle this emotional whiplash.  _ Not Phichit?! Was it ever Phichit?! _ Questions flooded his brain and his heart raced, but all he said was, “I see.”

Seung-gil took actual notes to give his hands something to do. He was doubly thankful for the tablet because his brain was too frantic to remember the questions he was supposed to ask. That had never happened before.

The more Katsuki explained, the funnier everything seemed. Seung-gil wasn’t even really taking in the conversation. His mouth was moving, his fingers were typing, but the only person on his mind was Phichit.

What else was new?

“And when did you first encounter Mr. Nikiforov?” he asked. 

“This February. We bought a lens from Microtech for a project, but it wasn’t because I thought he was hot!” 

Katsuki’s outburst brought him back to reality.  _ Oh, right. I have a job to do.  _

He took a deep breath to focus and pulled up the official form. “I’m sending you a disclosure form. You will need to give an account of all…” Seung-gil wasn’t sure what word to use, “contact with Mr. Nikiforov, noting the approximate amount of time business matters were discussed and detail any ethical concerns. No detailed descriptions of any personal interactions will be necessary.”

Seung-gil didn’t need to know what Katsuki did, no matter who he did it with. 

“So you need a list of all contact at work?”   
  
“All contact,” Seung-gil repeated. 

“Do video calls count?”   
  
_ Ugh.  _ “Yes.”   
  
“How about personal texts?”   
  
Seung-gil groaned. Just how much did these two talk to each other? “If texts and emails were sent on company devices, then they are subject to HR review. Discussing work matters on a personal phone is less straightforward, but it’s in your best interest to submit anything questionable.” 

Even though he had his mind on business now, the fluttering in his stomach had him saying more to Katsuki than he ever had before. Seung-gil cursed his own immaturity. He had been holding a grudge against Katsuki for way too long. 

Katsuki looked at his laptop and blushed. 

Now, Seung-gil had a whole new reason to be annoyed. He was about to learn way more about Katsuki than he ever wanted to know, and he wasn’t going find out what, if anything, was going on with Phichit.

But just knowing that Katsuki wasn't leaving the company (or eloping with Phichit) was enough for today.

“I will review the completed form and determine if a formal investigation is necessary.” 

When Seung-gil left Katsuki’s office, Phichit was waiting outside with his arms crossed.

“He’s all yours,” said Seung-gil, gesturing to the open door.

One corner of Phichit’s mouth curved up. “I hope you showed him your sweet side.”

Seung-gil was tempted to ask which side that was, but Phichit’s eyes on him as he walked away were enough of an answer.

That night, Seung-gil reinstalled Instagram. He had missed the hamster pictures more than he realized.

But along with Cola and Momo, **v-nikiforov** himself was all over Phichit’s feed, and always attached to Katsuki. Nikiforov was objectively handsome, but that wasn’t what stood out.

In every single picture, Nikiforov looked at Katsuki like he needed him to breathe, and Katsuki gazed back like Nikiforov had created the universe just for him. Phichit just looked thrilled to be there to witness it, and maybe Seung-gil had been wrong from the beginning.

Phichit and Katsuki never looked at each other like Katsuki looked at his little conflict of interest. Phichit had never looked at Evan like that, either. Obviously, he had never looked at Seung-gil like that, but Seung-gil wouldn’t have wanted him to. It was too exposed, too vulnerable, too naive.

Even just looking at pictures of Katsuki and Nikiforov made him feel second-hand embarrassment at how very attached they were. From what Katsuki said, they hadn’t even been together all that long.

Seung-gil stopped on a group shot, taken at some bar in Columbus. He didn’t recognize most of the people in the picture, but he did recognize the look in Nikiforov’s eyes.

With his arms wrapped tightly around Katsuki, he looked downright possessive. Maybe it had to do with the blond guy next to them, eyes hungry and fixed on Katsuki. Meanwhile, Phichit was blurry in the foreground with a devious look on his face.

Seung-gil didn’t understand Katsuki’s appeal, but he understood the look in Nikiforov’s eyes. That was not the look of a man who shared.

_ Now what? _

Almost like a test, Seung-gil posted a picture of himself and Bada.

Phichit liked it immediately. He left a string of heart-eyed emoji in the comments, and Seung-gil figured they were for his dog, until Phichit left a second comment.

_ and your dog is cute too (^_-) _

It wasn’t like the can’t-eat-can’t-sleep nonsense between Katsuki and Nikiforov (Seung-gil didn’t want that anyway). Maybe it was nothing at all, but whatever it was, it was worth one more try. For real this time.

But not yet. He had an investigation to get through first.

The investigation was hell. It felt like punishment for lusting after Phichit (and being mean to Katsuki) for years, but he got through it and Katsuki was in the clear. Still, he couldn’t resist one last dig after he delivered the news. He had read things he couldn’t unread.

“If I ever have to read your _love letters_ again, there will be disciplinary action.”

He left Katsuki stuttering, and he only felt a little guilty about it.

The moment Seung-gil returned to his office,  Phichit peeked in like his conscience and gave him a thumbs up.

“It wasn’t a favor,” Seung-gil reminded him.

“Sure, Jan.”

He would have to look that one up later.

Even though the investigation was done, Seung-gil didn’t do anything about his Phichit problem. For starters, he couldn’t have gotten Phichit alone even if he wanted to. At lunch, he was talking to Viktor right alongside Katsuki. It seemed like the whole office was consumed with Katsuki’s codependent relationship and Seung-gil already knew too much.

He seemed to be spending more time with Guang Hong and Leo, too, perhaps to give Katsuki some privacy. At one point, Seung-gil overheard Phichit saying he was going to become a “professional third wheel.”

It was the push Seung-gil needed. He sent out an email about tickets for the annual baseball game a full two weeks early.

He was surprised when Katsuki replied with a request for two tickets. He was less surprised (but more excited) when Phichit made his request in person, from the edge of Seung-gil’s desk.

“Just one ticket?” Seung-gil echoed.

“Yeah,” said Phichit with a smile. “But don’t worry about me. I hung out with this super cute guy there last year, and I hear he pretty much has to go to these work things.”

Seung-gil hated _work things_ , but not as much as he hated disappointing Phichit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from winterbreak by muna
> 
> just an epilogue left now! chronologically, the [phichit companion piece](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374847/chapters/40888721) takes place between this chapter and the epilogue.


	9. Nothing Else Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seung-gil and Phichit attend their first holiday party as a couple, and somehow it ends in karaoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the cheesy epilogue because i just want these two to be happy together

For the first time since joining OI, Seung-gil had a date to the holiday dance. He would have preferred to stay home with his date but he still felt obligated to go, especially after missing the drawing last year.

Plus, Phichit actually liked work parties. 

Not having to pick out his own clothes helped. Phichit had coordinated their outfits in a way that was supposed to signify that they were a couple, but it was too subtle for Seung-gil to notice. 

“It’s a thing on Instagram,” Phichit explained. “I think it started in Korea.” 

Seung-gil took his word for it, and let himself be posed for a picture (which he had to admit came out pretty cute). 

Phichit curled a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “Look how hot we are. We should match every day.”

“I don’t want to buy new clothes.”

“What makes you assume I won’t just start wearing more black?” Phichit asked.

Seung-gil chuckled and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Phichit didn’t usually wear his hair back and he didn’t usually wear eyeliner. It seemed like such a waste to go out. Phichit snapped another picture for himself before tossing his phone on the bed and pushing both of his hands into Seung-gil’s hair. 

Seung-gil lost himself in the feeling of Phichit’s fingers on his scalp, gently pulling his hair this way and that, before he realized what was going on. “Don’t put my hair up.”

“But it looks so good…”

“No.” Seung-gil let Phichit get away with a lot, but he drew the line at hair ties (at least outside of the house). 

“I’m just going to switch your part.” Phichit swept most of his hair over to one side and Seung-gil couldn’t even pretend to be annoyed—not with the tingling sensation spreading from the back of his head down his spine. But his hair flipped back into place and Phichit let out a huff. “Oh. It doesn’t like that.”

“No, it doesn’t.” It wasn’t Seung-gil’s fault his hair only did one thing. “But I like when you touch it.” Phichit still did most of the talking but Seung-gil was getting better at voicing his stray thoughts. He tried to steer them toward the bed, but Phichit locked his legs so he couldn’t be toppled.

“I know...” Phichit sighed. “You like it too much for how little time we have.”

“We can be late,” said Seung-gil. “Our clothes can have matching wrinkles.”

Phichit’s laughter was the second best sound in the world. 

“Let’s get there first,” Phichit said, smoothing Seung-gil’s hair back down. “I want to get you back in that coatroom, and this time I’m going to do more than kiss you.”

Seung-gil could live with that. The coatroom had come up in one of their long late night talks, sometime after Seung-gil had confessed his extended crush and Phichit had apologized for teasing him. That night, they had decided, was no one’s fault. Phichit had backpedaled to friendship when Seung-gil hadn’t kissed him back, while Seung-gil had been following instructions and wanting more. 

They were getting better at reading each other. Much better at actually talking, too.

“I can’t believe Yuuri is going to be there,” Phichit said once they were in the car. “At least, he was still planning on it when I texted him a bit ago.”

“He’ll probably be late,” said Seung-gil. “And wrinkled.”

“Viktor’s clothes don’t get wrinkled,” Phichit pointed out. “It’s one of his superpowers.”

Viktor probably kept a handheld fabric steamer in his car, but Seung-gil didn’t want to burst Phichit’s bubble.

Indeed, Viktor and Yuuri were not there yet, but Yuuko and Takeshi were, and Yuuko made an announcement the moment she saw Phichit. 

“My amazing sister-in-law volunteered to take the girls overnight and you know what that means!”

Seung-gil didn’t want to know about Nishigori family planning, but Phichit gasped and covered his mouth with his hand. 

“Karaoke?!” 

Yuuko nodded and fist-bumped Takeshi and Phichit at the same time.

On second thought, Seung-gil would have rather heard about her sex life. Phichit turned to him, eyes wide and lower lip jutting out. 

“Okay.” Phichit did plenty for him so he could put up with a night of karaoke. The smile on Phichit’s face was more than worth it, and if it was the place Seung-gil was thinking of, they had good appetizers. They had been to the bar but Phichit had never gotten him into a karaoke room before. 

He wondered how late the kitchen stayed open.

Yuuko let out an ear-splitting squeal. “I already booked the room, and Yuuri and Viktor are in, too. I couldn’t get a hold of Leo and Guang Hong but I’m sure they’ll be here soon.”

She and Phichit were off to the races and Seung-gil went to find a drink. He was going to need to start now if he wanted to get through the night. 

Celestino was already at the bar, too. “Evening, Seung-gil! Where are you sitting?”

“With your lab group,” he replied.

Celestino smiled. “Kids’ table, huh? Well, be sure to say ‘hi’ to Marisa later. She asks about you.” He pointed over to the other side of the room where Marisa was talking to Xiao Yi.

“I will.”

Celestino headed off with two glasses of wine and Seung-gil ordered himself a dirty martini and Coke for Phichit. Viktor and Yuuri had arrived while he was fetching drinks, clothes in perfect shape. Phichit was deep in conversation with both of them.

“Should we go for a theme?” Phichit asked. “I’m thinking _Y2K Panic._ ”

“You know I didn’t really listen to a lot of English music back then,” Yuuri said, looking worried. “And weren’t you just a little kid?”

“I never said you had to sing in English!” There was a glint in Phichit’s eyes as he took his soda from Seung-gil. “But maybe Viktor can help you with songs. How old were you then, Viktor?”

Viktor pouted. “Yuuri, how can you be friends with someone so mean? The only way you can make it up to me is by singing in Japanese.” This was Seung-gil’s chance to slip away undetected, but Viktor and Yuuri both caught him. 

“What about you, Seung-gil? What will you sing?” Yuuri asked.

“I won’t.” 

Yuuri frowned, Viktor pouted, and Phichit knew him too well to be surprised. 

“But everyone _has_ to sing,” Viktor protested. “It doesn’t matter if you’re not a good singer. Or are you?” He looked to Phichit for a hint but Phichit just shrugged and sipped his Coke. 

Seung-gil had never loved him more. 

In a strange turn of events, it was Guang Hong and Leo who ended up showing up disheveled halfway through dinner. Phichit zeroed in on the reason right away. 

“Leo! You’re wearing a ring!”

Without missing a beat, Leo smiled and said, “Yeah. Guang Hong proposed last night.” The building could be burning down and Leo would still sound like he was getting a massage but Seung-gil had never seen him smile so wide (and he had never seen Guang Hong quite so red).

“I was going to wait until closer to Christmas but I just couldn’t wait anymore,” Guang Hong said. Leo reached over and took his hand.

Everyone offered their congratulations and Phichit raised a toast. 

Seung-gil was happy for them, but he checked out after that. Phichit could fill him in later.

He didn’t check back in until dessert, a lackluster chocolate mousse that Seung-gil only tasted out of curiosity. 

“So I totally get it if you don’t want to come out with us but you guys are welcome to come to karaoke after this!” said Yuuko.

“No, that sounds fun!” Guang Hong said. 

Leo nodded. “Been a while.” 

Phichit was eyeing the mousse and Seung-gil wordlessly slid it over to him. 

Guang Hong and Leo slipped away to the dance floor as soon as it was open. Takeshi and Yuuko weren’t far behind. 

“I can’t believe they got engaged before we did,” Viktor sighed. 

Yuuri patted his hand. “They’ve known each other since high school, and you’re about to start a Ph.D.”

“Yeah,” Phichit added. “If Seung-gil and I get married before you do, that’s when you  _ really  _ need to worry.”

Viktor’s mouth fell open. “Don’t you want to get married?”

“Not particularly,” Phichit replied. “My dad’s working on divorce number three.”

Seung-gil’s own parents should have gotten divorced when he was a kid, but that wasn’t the only reason he didn’t care about marriage. He was already committed for as long as Phichit would have him. What was the point of having an expensive party? Phichit was just as ambivalent toward the institution as he was, but if that changed, they could talk. Seung-gil wasn’t unreasonable. 

All he said was, “I’m not interested."

Even though they were sharing tales of woe, Viktor watched them with starry eyes. He turned to Yuuri. “They’ve  _ talked  _ about this.”

“I’m sure they talk about lots of things,” Yuuri replied.

“Eh,” Phichit shrugged, “mostly just his eyebrows. I’m thinking of making a Tumblr for them.” Seung-gil wished he was joking about that last part—he had an album called “Brow or Never” on his phone.

“My Yuuri is such a sage,” Viktor said dreamily, not listening to Phichit at all. 

Yuuri looked away to hide his flushed cheeks. “I didn’t really do anything.” 

Why were Viktor and Yuuri always blushing? Seung-gil figured Viktor and Phichit would both find out about the time he had sought Yuuri’s advice. It wasn’t embarrassing and he was too grateful to be annoyed. 

“Anyway,” Phichit went on, “none of that will stop us for being completely thrilled when you get engaged, just like we’re so happy for Guang Hong and Leo!” Seung-gil was content to let Phichit speak for both of them. 

But Viktor was already onto his next goal, and his voice carried as he pulled Yuuri to the dance floor. “You're not going to make me wait until I finish my Ph.D. to get married, are you, Yuuri?”

Once they were out of earshot, Phichit said, “Twenty bucks says they get married before Guang Hong and Leo.” 

“Pass.” Only a fool would take that bet. 

Phichit lowered his gaze. “Care to wager on something a bit more personal, then?” 

Seung-gil raised an eyebrow. He had only had one drink, but he didn’t need alcohol to get close to Phichit anymore. 

Phichit swept Seung-gil’s hair behind his ear and murmured, “Meet me in the coatroom in five and I bet I can break your wall of silence.”

Gambling was pointless, but that was a bet Seung-gil didn’t mind losing. He didn’t mind settling it immediately, either.

“Where have you been?” Minako hissed when Seung-gil joined her for the drawing. He could smell alcohol on her breath. “Thought you were going to bail on me again.”

Phichit was sitting front and center looking quite proud of himself and Seung-gil tried not to make eye contact. “I’m ready.”

“Can’t say the same for your hair,” she muttered before she switched on her mic. 

Seung-gil hadn’t bothered fixing it after the coat room, but he didn’t care who saw. When Phichit won a gift card and said, “Here I thought I might be disqualified this year,” Seung-gil didn’t care who heard that, either.

Minako looked between the two of them, but she just shook her head and announced the next prize. 

After the drawing was done, Seung-gil went to the bathroom for a perfunctory attempt to fix his hair, then went to get another drink. Now that he and Phichit had taken care of the only important part of the night, he had to prepare himself for karaoke.

When he returned to Phichit, he found him with Yuuko, trying to talk Yuuri down.

“I’m sorry!” Yuuko said. “Minako and Celestino heard us talking and sort of invited themselves.”

“I thought working in America meant I wouldn’t have to deal with this stuff,” Yuuri moaned. 

Viktor smiled at him. “You’re lucky! Yakov never would have done karaoke with me.”

Phichit put an arm around Yuuri’s shoulders. “It’ll be fine! Ciao Ciao will just fall asleep and I have it on good authority that Minako is a really fun drunk.”

“Damn right, she is!” Minako herself shouted, looping her arm around Yuuri from his other side. Her other arm landed on Seung-gil and he went rigid. 

“O-Okukawa-Shacho!” Yuuri choked out. 

“Call me Minako!” she cried. “Your mother and I go too far back for you to be so damn formal.” That was news to Seung-gil. He edged away from her until he was free, winding up next to a bemused Viktor. 

“Do you want to take them or should we?” he asked, tilting his head toward Seung-gil. 

Maybe it was the alcohol, but Seung-gil was feeling charitable. “Phichit and I can drive them.”

“You rode together?!” Minako demanded. She squinted at Seung-gil but he didn’t react. 

If Phichit hadn’t been sober, he definitely would have made a joke of it, but he just caught Seung-gil’s eye and said, “It’s been known to happen.” 

Marisa and Celestino walked up and Marisa waved at Seung-gil. “I trust you’ll get him back in one piece?”

“Won’t you come with us?” Viktor offered kindly. 

Marisa shook her head. “Oh, I’m too tired. But you have fun.” She kissed Celestino’s cheek and then turned to Seung-gil. “By the way, Seung-gil, you and Phichit make an adorable couple.”

“Couple?!” Minako and Celestino gasped at once. 

“I knew it!” said Minami, appearing out of nowhere. If he was coming to karaoke, too, it was going to be a long night.

Phichit just smiled and said, “Always nice to see you, Mrs. Cialdini.”

“When did this happen?” Minako wanted to know. 

Occasionally, Seung-gil missed working for a giant, faceless corporation. The CEO at his old job wouldn’t have given two shits about who he was dating.

Then again, he wasn’t in HR at his old job, and the CEO never even knew he existed. 

“It’s on file,” Seung-gil said. 

Minako frowned at him. “Lighten up, I’m just happy for you two!” 

“Then you’ll be really happy to hear that Guang Hong and Leo got engaged!” Phichit called out, flagging them down across the room.

Celestino and Minako gasped and turned to gush at them instead. Seung-gil would have kissed Phichit on the spot if it wouldn’t have attracted even more attention. He settled for a grateful look and Phichit blew him a kiss.

The ride was long. Minako and Celestino were were already singing, Phichit was snickering, and Seung-gil sat in silence. As soon as Phichit parked the car, Seung-gil went for the bar. 

“How late is your kitchen open?” he asked. 

He had just paid for soju and pork belly when Phichit touched his lower back and said, “Hey, it’s fine if you want to go home. I’ll take you.”

Seung-gil looked over his shoulder and Phichit’s kind smile made it easier. “I want to stay.”

“Really?” Phichit pointed at the bottle of soju the bartender had just brought. “You were planning on drinking that by yourself, weren’t you?”

“Have some.” He was hoping to share it with Phichit, anyway—he would be on the floor if he drank the whole thing. 

“Not if I have to drive soon,” said Phichit, vending down to rest his chin on Seung-gil’s shoulder.

Seung-gil was already buzzed enough to plant a brazen kiss on his cheek. “I figured we’d close out the place.”

Phichit grinned and sat down next to him. He pulled out his ID and hauled the bartender. “In that case, one more glass, please!” 

Drinking with Phichit was infinitely better than drinking by himself. They opened the bottle and Phichit toasted him (in Korean). Seung-gil was too happy to be suspicious of his wink. 

The bottle was half empty when server brought the pork and Seung-gil asked, “Can I bring this to the room? It’s paid for.”

The server nodded and Phichit threw his arms around Seung-gil’s waist. “It’ll be fun, I promise!”

Seung-gil didn’t know about _fun_ , but he had Phichit and meat, so he was about as happy as he could get outside of his house. He could put up with a little singing.

When they made it to the room, half of the OI workforce was inside, and Minako was in the middle, singing some hip-hop song. 

Yuuko waved them over, shouting over the pounding bass. “We had to switch to the big room. Thank god it was open.” 

“How’s Yuuri?” Phichit asked. Yuuko pointed to the corner where he was was curled up with Viktor, nursing a beer. He looked happy, and Seung-gil understood.

“This got really out of hand!” Yuuko cried. “But Minako’s paying so I don’t care!”

Phichit grinned at Seung-gil. “It’s because you came. I can’t believe I’m finally part of one of your wild stories!”

Yuuko looked at them, bewildered. They settled in their own corner and Seung-gil didn’t leave, passing the time drinking soju, eating pork, and tickling Phichit’s ribs when he wasn’t singing. 

Over the course of two hours, Yuuri went from reluctantly singing an emo song with Phichit to singing a Fergie song while grinding on Viktor. Seung-gil only knew the song because he still hadn’t recovered from the time the Crispino twins had danced to it in college. He looked away even as Minami watched in awe.

By then, Minako and Celestino were the only ones left over 40 and they were both passed out, so everyone else relaxed. Most of Leo's picks were too obscure to be on the list but he didn't seem to mind singing a cheesy duet with Guang Hong. 

Yuuko, Takeshi, Yuuri, and Minami sang some Japanese songs Seung-gil recognized but didn’t have any particular attachment to. He only paid attention when Phichit was singing, and only once he was sure it wasn’t _Anaconda_. 

It had been a while since Phichit had sang anything and Seung-gil was starting to sober up. _No one else has to know that_ , he thought, nuzzling Phichit’s neck. 

“Oh, oh, the next one’s mine!” Phichit exclaimed, jumping out of his seat so quickly that Seung-gil almost fell over. With a wink, he added, “Watch me, baby.” 

The scary thing was that Phichit was completely sober. Seung-gil treated his request (and the pet name) like a warning and decided to check his phone instead (even though Phichit was the only person who ever texted him). 

“This one goes out to a boy and his dog,” said Phichit. Seung-gil was afraid to look up, fully expecting Nicki Minaj. When the opening to  _ Dreams Come True _ by S.E.S began to play instead, he almost left. He should have known—Phichit had guessed where Bada’s name came from far too quickly. Memories of mandatory family socialization and awkward conversations with his mother came rushing back. This song had been inescapable for a solid two years of his childhood. 

But then Phichit was singing and Seung-gil had to look up. Phichit was looking right back at him and it was a whole new song (and not just because Phichit only spoke basic Korean). The cheesy lyrics were almost tolerable when it was Phichit’s voice. He had to take it down an octave but his pronunciation wasn’t bad. _He practiced this. For me_. 

If his mother could hear, she’d have a wedding planned for spring. Just watching it now was almost enough to make Seung-gil reconsider the idea.

Until Phichit got to the mortifying rap. Seung-gil stood and advanced on Phichit, dragging him out of the room amid catcalls and whistles. 

They were more exposed out in the hall but that didn’t stop Phichit from singing. It didn’t stop Seung-gil from kissing him hard on the mouth, either. He had never been more in love, and he was never going to rest until he got his revenge. 

When Seung-gil finally broke away for air, Phichit let out a breathy laugh. “Been saving that for a special occasion."

“How long did you practice?” 

“A couple months. That song really grew on me.”

Seung-gil had to admit he liked it much more than he ever had before. “That was my mom’s favorite song when I was a kid. I’m having some complicated feelings right now.”

Phichit smirked. “All your feelings are complicated.”

“Not all of them.” Seung-gil took a step forward, parting Phichit’s legs with one his own. Thumbs skimming his cheeks, he pulled Phichit in for another kiss. _I love you_ , explicitly, wasn’t something he said often or easily, but he expressed it in his own way.

“I love you, too,” Phichit said between kisses. He had no trouble saying it whenever he wanted, but more importantly, he understood when Seung-gil meant it. “You realize you have to sing in Thai for me now.”

“Okay,” Seung-gil replied, completely serious. 

Phichit gasped. “Really?”

“Not in public.”

“I accept.” Phichit laughed and added, “I’ve embarrassed you enough for a good long time."

And then it came to Seung-gil—the perfect way to get back at him. He yanked Phichit’s shirt untucked and slid one hand up his back. His other hand went to Phichit’s ass, over the pants but with the same intent. Invigorated, Phichit kissed him, open-mouthed and hungry like they weren’t mere feet from their coworkers. Only when it was totally out of control did Seung-gil pull back to whisper, “That song. It has a dance.”

“I know,” Phichit murmured, “I watched the video at least 40 times.”

He went back for more but Seung-gil ducked away. “I know the dance.”

Phichit backed into the wall, goggle-eyed. “Shut up. You’re joking.” Seung-gil shook his head and Phichit’s face contorted in exaggerated agony. “Oh my god, you’re not even going to show me, are you?”

“No.” It was a bit of a bluff. It had been ages he had done the dance but he was sure it would come back to him. All that suffering his cousins had put him through would finally be worth something. 

“Seung-gil…” Phichit’s whine approached a pitch he usually reserved for more private moments. “Please? I’ve never seen you dance before.”

Seung-gil tried to keep his face stoic.

“I’ll do _anything_.” Just a vague promise would have been enough, but then Phichit was on him, laying out detailed proposals of exactly what he had in mind. Seung-gil had fully intended to make him wait weeks for it, but he was so, so weak for his boyfriend. 

“It’s going to take liquor.” Which meant not today. Or tomorrow. He'd had enough alcohol for one week.

Phichit kissed his neck. “I’ll let you do body shots.”

Seung-gil tilted his head, and not just to give him better access. “What’s a _body shot_?”

“Exactly what it sounds like.” Phichit chuckled into his shoulder. “What did you even do in college? Study?”

Seung-gil could have pointed out that Phichit had a master’s degree and had almost certainly done more studying, but he was still stuck on _body shots_. If he was going to be taking shots off of any part of Phichit’s body, dancing was not going to happen. Not in any choreographed sense, in any case. 

Perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dagny - love you like that is the official seung-gil/phichit song now sorry i don't make the rules
> 
> [dreams come true](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_yyXw83rt8) was one of my fave songs when i was younger btw. in general this story had the best writing playlist and i'll definitely use it again.
> 
> i'm not done with these two! they'll be back in this au and even in something canon compliant :o if i can get my you-know-what together.


End file.
